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Tough Seasons

I think January is hard each year. You’re settling down from the holidays and trying to get all of your ducks back in a row. Each January, I’m exhausted for these reasons. For whatever reason, each year January beats me down. But, this January has been harder because there have been so many factors stacked against us, too. So, how do you deal with life when it’s really hard on top of having MS? How do you take care of yourself and others on top of managing a disease?

Find the good

I’ve been down because of the loss we’ve experienced this past month, and the emotional toll it’s taken on my body has been rougher than I expected. Since I like to be honest and transparent, I will tell you that we, unfortunately, suffered a miscarriage, and it has been one of the most challenging things I’ve ever gone through. It’s been hard on my heart, and hard on my body. Loss of any kind is never easy. Then, having both my son and me sick off and on for the weeks during and after that left me weak and exhausted.

Grateful for support in trying times

But in all situations in life, including MS, when life throws me curveballs, I have to find the good. I remind myself that although the loss was substantial and my heart is aching that I will never get to meet that little one, that I still have a wonderful healthy son, and my husband and I can continue trying for our second child when we are ready. And although the sickness was tough and felt never-ending, we got past it. It reminds me to be grateful that most of the year, my little family and I are typically very healthy. It reminds me too to be grateful for the wonderful people we are surrounded with who have loved on us and supported us through such a trying month.

Pray, write, meditate

If you’re not religious and praying isn’t your thing then that’s ok. Meditate, do yoga, find your quiet, happy place. But for me, praying helps. I find comfort in knowing that the God that I believe in acknowledges my pain and hears me when my heart and my body ache. It also is of great comfort just to put what I’m feeling into words and let it all out. I find the help my soul so desperately needs when I dive into scripture and pray. Again, this doesn’t have to be in the form of prayer; you can journal and write it all out. Holding onto pain and hardship is never good, and it’s good for your body to release all of the negativity and hurt that you may be dealing with.

Find your support

I wouldn’t have made it this past month without wonderful friends and family. They were there when I needed to talk, and they were there to help when I couldn’t do everything on my own. When you’re going through a rough season, find those people that will simply listen and help carry you through it all. Let yourself feel the weight of it all, but don’t let the hard times swallow you whole. After everything, I just kind of wanted to crawl in a hole and watch Netflix until all of the pain and illness subsided. Instead, though, I forced myself to get out and keep going.

I had my days where I cried and moped

I had my days to be mad and not understand. I still do, but I don’t allow myself to stay there. Grieving is important, and it’s good. It’s cleansing. So, please grieve whatever you need to grieve, but then get up and keep going. With MS, we have to keep pushing and take care of ourselves. If anyone understands the firm grips of emotional issues and depression, it’s me. I know it’s not always easy to get up and move when you’re down. However, I’ve learned that if I don’t keep pushing that I’m doing myself a huge injustice. It also helps distract me so that I can continue to do things to care for myself. If I focus on going out, eating well or exercising, etc. then I’m not as consumed by the hard things that are going on around me.

How I get through hard seasons

I’m not an expert, obviously, but these small things are what has helped me survive a long hard month. They’ve helped me come out of my funk and continue to take care of myself. When everything feels like it’s going wrong it feels hard to survive, but believe me, you can. I will leave you with one more quote that has helped me, and I hope it helps you through your hard seasons as well:

“Strength grows through struggles; courage develops in challenges and wisdom matures from wounds.”

XOXO,

Calie

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • cathy1
    2 months ago

    Calie,

    ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

  • Calie Wyatt moderator author
    2 months ago

    @cathy1 thank you so much!! Your hugs are greatly appreciated!!

    Calie

  • Eleqtra
    2 months ago

    Calie,

    Thank you for your beautiful and insightful post. Your words resonate so clearly for me, and I too have been battling what I call “life’s curve balls” or “life’s extra special bonus character builders”.

    Right now I am acutely struggling with the levels of stress I am under in all areas of both my personal and professional lives. Add on ongoing illness (colds/ flu, etc) since December. Throw in the responsibility of increasing care needed for an elderly family member. These are all the ingredients for a full mental, emotional, and physical breakdown.

    I am actively seeking numerous different kinds and levels of support I need to see my way through this time.

    Hang in there, it will get better and easier as time marches on.

    PS. I love the last quote! Is your quote?

  • Calie Wyatt moderator author
    2 months ago

    @eleqtra,

    Thank you so much for your kind words!!

    I hate that you are going through a tough season of your own, but I’m so glad you commented and that you’re a part of this community! I hope you find the support you’re seeking here! Also, the quote is not my own, I stumbled upon it in a book, but I loved it!!

    I hope you hang in there as well! Thank you for reading!!

    Wishing you the best,

    Calie

  • Calie Wyatt moderator author
    2 months ago

    @eleqtra I also wanted to add, I love that you called them, “life’s extra special bonus character builders”! I think that’s a perfect way to explain them!!

    🙂 Calie

  • Julie
    3 months ago

    During the years of 2012-2015, I lost 4 MS friends that were dear to me. Right in the middle of that my dad passed a couple of months after that my sweet dog of 14 years died followed up by my ex-husband.

    A loss is a hard thing to cope with. I struggled for almost a year and am still struggling with the loss of my dad. I found relief (of a sort) by writing in my journal. All my grief and anger and sadness, I could pour it out by writing.

    You are right though, find your way of coping so you don’t lose your mind in depression. It has a way of creeping up on you at times like this.

    I’m sorry for your loss. A baby is very hard to get thru. We have them so close to our hearts they never really leave us.

    Thank you for this.

  • Calie Wyatt moderator author
    2 months ago

    @jlnewport I am so sorry for your losses. A loss is never easy. I am glad you found something that worked for you and helped give you a sense of relief!! I hope you’re doing well. Thank you for sharing with us!

    Wishing you the best,

    Calie

  • ASAPcindy
    3 months ago

    Hi Callie 25 years ago I had a miscarriage. I had one healthy child and then the loss, and then a healthy baby. The only way I can describe it was the broken heart I had after my first love broke up with me. Granted, I was young and inexperienced in matters of the heart, but it was like everything I thought my life was going to be changed in an instant. I still recall sobbing in the hospital bed alone after the D&C, reeling from the loss of that future. There was no Facebook then, and each time I had talk about it with well meaning friends and family my heart broke a little bit more. I did find a sisterhood in women who went through one, and it was a lot more women than I had imagined. It was seeing how they managed to grieve and go on that gave me the strength to do the same. I am very sorry for your loss. It’s a pain like no other.
    November is usually my bad time of year, I don’t know if it’s the anticipation of the holidays or what, but after I usually come back around, but not this year. I am experiencing a prolong spell of left side weakness, and the PT that used to help isn’t giving me the bounce back I had hoped for. I thought SPMS would be like slow decent into disability but apparently there are cliffs scattered throughout.
    I have always had the personal mantra of God wouldn’t have brought me this far to let me fail now. We don’t know what the plans are for our future. Instead of one day at a time, for us it’s really one step at a time. So we go forward, perhaps with wisdom others lack because of all we have had thrown at us. May you find peace reconciling what is and what you thought it be. But, hey, I’m still here to tell the tale. Maybe not the story I would have liked, but I’m still here to enjoy what’s good. You will get here too.

  • Calie Wyatt moderator author
    2 months ago

    @asapcindy thank you so much for your kind words. I am so sorry to hear that you have gone through the pain of a miscarriage as well. It really is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, but like you, I have found that so many women also know what it’s like. It’s comforting knowing others understand. Thank you so much for sharing a part of your story.

    I am hoping you are out of your MS spell and things are looking up. Please reach out if you need anything. Thank you for being a part of this community!

    Calie

  • Donna Steigleder moderator
    3 months ago

    Calie Wyatt I want to offer you my personal condolences. I’m so sorry for your loss. Having worked in healthcare for a long time, I can assure you that you are doing the right thing. Take the time now to allow yourself to grieve your loss. Take whatever time you need to work through it. Personally, as a believer in Christ, I am confident that your little one waits for you in heaven though days to see him/her again may seem too many to bear. I know that doesn’t remove the pain of loss and emptiness but it may provide comfort for the future. I’m also sorry for the difficulty with the other illnesses you have had to address. It seems like struggles come in packs. We used to say bad things happened in “threes” at the hospital because it seemed to happen that way so often. Hang in there, and I’ll be praying for you. Donna Steigleder

  • Calie Wyatt moderator author
    2 months ago

    @dsteigleder thank you so much for your condolences and your reassurance. It means so much. I agree it does seem that bad things come in threes! Like you though, I am a believer, and that is really what has helped get me through. Thanks again for your kind words, your prayers, and for sharing!

    Calie

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