Something that people do not always seem to get is that when multiple sclerosis “hits” it “HITS”. You may have had plans with a friend months in advanced but the day you are supposed to meet up? FLAIR. You are fatigued, dizzy and hardly able to walk. It’s not like when you feel a cold or the flu coming on; you can’t always just suck it up and power through the day. Sometimes it’s like your body is either on or off regardless of how important of a thing you got going on that day; MS just doesn’t care.
I have always hated planning ahead; I am more of a get up and go in the spur of the moment kind of guy. I hated when my ex-girlfriend needed 24 hours notice to plan to just go get coffee. I like saying, “hey, let’s get coffee” and then just getting up and going. “Spontaneous”. A friend would call me in the morning and ask if I wanted to go on some long hike and I would just throw on my boots and wait for him to pick me up. That was always me, especially after I was diagnosed with MS. You see, I never know what I will feel like tomorrow, I really am not sure what I will feel like in an hour really. So I would rather someone randomly ask, “hey, do you want to get lunch with me?” because it’s easier to predict what I may feel like in a few hours based on how I feel “now” than it is to predict what I may feel like in a week.
Trying to make plans sucks because MS just doesn’t care about them! I have had a plane ticket to Colorado for almost a year, just to visit friends you know? Well, it was about to expire and I wanted to make it out there while the weather was still cool so I booked a flight about a month in advanced as I was feeling well enough to take this little trip on. But then I got there and… my fatigue was horrible. I just wanted to sleep! That is what I would have done if I was home! But no, I am stubborn, I pushed through it, I made myself try to be active, I mean, I never get to see my friends! Well… I pushed myself into a relapse. I feel extra horrible now and instead of doing the things I was planning on doing when I got back I am struggling to walk, stay awake, think and see and now I am trying to get in for steroids so that I can return to the state I was in before I left. MS does not care how much progress I made this year. MS does not care that I really wanted to see my friends. MS does not care that I was planning to get all this stuff done this month. MS does not care how much I needed a break from it all. MS doesn’t care about anything! When MS wants to act up it acts up no matter how inconvenient it may be to you!
It doesn’t matter if you are male or female. It doesn’t matter how old you are. It doesn’t matter if you have kids or a busy job! Have you been planning a year in advance for a wedding you are supposed to take part in? Now you get double vision for thinking MS cares! Because sometimes it really does feel like MS is some sort of evil entity who’s soul purpose is to try to inconvenience you in the most inconvenient of ways! I wish I knew of a way to make plans in life without the possibility of MS coming around and screwing things up but I quickly learned that the most consistent thing about MS is it’s inconsistency.
How do you deal with planning and MS?