I Don't Know

I find myself saying “I don’t know” frequently when it comes to my MS when having discussions with family and friends… Here are some examples:

  • Is your MS medication working?
  • Are you going to be in a wheelchair again?
  • How many lesions do you have?
  • How did you get MS?
  • Why do you have a problem with the heat?
  • Are you going to get a more progressive for of MS?

The list goes on

And the list goes on. That just goes to show how much is NOT known about MS; yes, there are theories, and yes, I can tell if my medication is “working” to slow progression or not… but I get asked that question after about a month of being on a new medication.

I feel like I say the words, “I don’t know” way too often… but what other short answer is there? I hear all of the time that MS patients are some of the most educated patients there are. And I like to think of myself as being educated on MS in general, but there is only so much “confirmed” information out there.

We don't know how we're going to be

The bottom line is, we don’t know how we’re going to be (physically) a year in the future - or even a week, or even tomorrow! There is so much uncertainty with this disease that I really try not to linger on the thoughts of it. But when I get asked all these questions I don’t have a legitimate answer to, sometimes it makes me think about what the future holds for me.

I’m not a negative person, and I don’t like to have a negative outlook on my life with MS, but I do question things here and there, how can I not?

There are plenty of theories out there about what the cause of MS is… but there aren’t any that have been confirmed 100%.

Questions from my young son

I guess this just recently hit me because my oldest son, who is 7, asked me if I was going to be in a wheelchair again. Of course, he is just curious and wanting to know what’s going on with me, but it’s hard to explain to my kids how I DON’T KNOW.

So, how are we supposed to handle these questions we get asked, even if we are the person asking them to ourselves…?


Ashley Ringstaff

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