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The Lies vs. the Truth

The Lies vs. the Truth

MS likes to feed lies to me daily. And I know I can’t be the only one. So, today I wanted to remind you of the truth. Remind you to stop believing the lies that MS likes to whisper in our ears. These lies can manifest in our minds quickly, but it’s up to us to stop accepting them and to shoot them down.

Lie number one: You are not enough.

I feel this way a lot. I’m not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not strong enough. A big part of MS for me is that it affects my self-esteem. I look in the mirror, and I don’t like what I see. I don’t like the tremors that have caused me to want to hide in shame. I don’t like the lines and wrinkles from the worry and stress of what’s to come. I don’t like the dents in my stomach and upper thighs from years of injections. The list goes on. But, each day when I look in the mirror, and I am fed the lie “You are not enough,” I try to beat that thought down before it even reaches the surface completely. And, I tell myself these truths instead:

The truth: I AM enough

I am beautiful in my own way; I am smart, and heck yes, I am strong! My tremors are visible and embarrassing, but they WILL NOT define me. Those lines and wrinkles? Those dents from injections? They’re my battle scars. They show that for my young age, I’ve fought hard to get where I am today. They show that although I’ve been through some low times, I have fought my way back up, and I have had to endure pain to maximize my overall health.

Lie number two: You’re too…(whatever it may be that day)

You’re too forgetful, you’re too stressed, you’re too weak. You’re too dumb, you’re too harsh, you’re too emotional. We all have our moments. Again, this all stems back to my self-esteem. I am forgetful, I am stressed, and sometimes I am weak. I’m not dumb, but I have my blonde moments, and yes, I forget things. And, there are times I can be too harsh. I’m also emotional often. But all of these things don’t have to be reasons that I’m cynical and hard on myself.

The truth: These moments should be reminders that I’m human

These moments should be reminders that I am fighting a disease, and all of these doubts and emotions are a part of my MS. I’m not “too anything,” I’m doing the best I can despite the curveballs life has thrown at me.

Lie number three: You’re a failure

You’re not a good mom. You’re not a good wife. You’re not a good friend. You’re not a good person. I have my days where all of these thoughts overwhelm me. I’m not on top of things that day; I’m a failure. I yelled at my son when I shouldn’t have; I’m a bad mom. I got upset with my husband over something small and trivial; I’m a bad wife. I can’t go out tonight, I’m too tired; I’m a bad friend. The list goes on.

The truth: I have to give myself grace

Grace upon grace. I make mistakes daily. I juggle A LOT, including MS. I am a good mom. I am a good wife. I am a good friend, and I am a good person. I have forces riding against me that others don’t. I’m a strong woman. I am a fighter. Some days, it’s all I can do to keep my head above water. But, every day, no matter what, I get to hug and love on my family at the end of every day. I get to know they love me back, regardless of the kind of day I’ve had. I get to know I was BLESSED with another day to be alive. And, to me, that means something.

Lie number four: You can’t do this

It’s all too much. The exhaustion, the pain, the symptoms. The doctors, the MRIs, the medications, the worries, and the fears. It’s a lot, and it can pull me under if I let it. There is no textbook answer telling you how to live a life with MS. There isn’t that perfect person with every single one of your symptoms to hold your hand and show you how you’re going to get through this. It’s NOT easy. In fact, it’s terrifying.

The truth: I CAN do this

It’s terrifying, and it’s overwhelming, but nothing is impossible. I will wake up every day, and I will fight. I will take MS on kicking and screaming. Everything it brings is unpredictable, and nothing with MS is easy, but it’s doable. I will learn as I go, and I will help others along the way. I will push past whatever tries to pull me down. I will lean on my hope and my faith and know that it will carry me through.

Lie number five: Things can only get worse

This one is probably the worst lie that is eating at me lately. I don’t want to live in fear. I don’t want to believe that things will only get worse. I don’t want to worry that every new symptom is my body getting weaker. But, so many moments, I let this lie win. I let it defeat me and allow it to make me live in fear.

The truth: The truth though, is I have hope

I have hope that my disease won’t progress. I have hope that I will remain strong and able. I have hope that despite MS, I will have a long healthy life in front of me. I even have hope in a future free of MS. It may not be in my lifetime, but I still have hope. It’s all about perspective. There will be many moments where we are scared, we are sad, and we are hurting. There will be moments that we are hopeless, but I hope that we won’t stay there. Fear only wins when we let it.

I’ve struggled with these lies lately. They’re those little venomous snakes hissing in my ear, telling me all that I can’t do; all that could and will go wrong. But, I wanted you to know today, that if you’re struggling with these lies too that you’re not alone. We can overcome. We are bigger than these lies that MS tries to tell us. Overall though, I wanted to remind you of these sweet truths:

You are enough.

You’re doing your best.

You deserve grace.

You CAN do this.

You don’t have to let fear win.

“Challenges are what makes life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.”-Joshua J. Marine

XOXO,

Calie

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • Forgiven
    6 months ago

    This was spot on!! But….I have recently given my life to Jesus Christ, and must say….He carries all of these bourdens for me. All I had to do was ask. How amazing is that!?! We have more obstacles than your everyday Joe. But it’s all in how we handle things. You can try to go it alone, like I did, but it is much harder this way. I don’t have anyone to hug, talk about feelings to. I was very, very lonely. I moved to Flagstaff AZ from Phoenix to escape the heat that kept me sick 6-8 months out of the year. I came here, not knowing anyone. And I don’t regret it. It has been the largest gamble, and pay out of my lifetime. I have connected with an amazing Church, volunteered, given money to strengthen our community…..I still wake up in pain, MS hug hasn’t gone away in over 2 years. I haven’t felt my hands since May 2013. I was paralyzed. Spent 46 days at the Phoenix VA. Took 3-5 steps a day to learn how to walk again. Got a divorce. Lost sight in my left eye due to blurriness. Choked on vitamin c on the 4th of July last year. Turned blue from oxygen loss. I stick a catheter in twice a day. You get the picture. But I am happier than I have ever been. Because I have freedom. This life is just a stop in the road. It is a crossroads of our eternal being. I chose life. Life in His kingdom. Life with my father whom I lost last year, my absolute best friend. I am not writing this to look better than anyone else. I am not writing this for pity. I am asking anyone, if you are unsure of the future, please get in touch with me. I am just a messenger. My message is the one of Freedom . I hope all of my fellow MSers out there are feeling well, and I look forward to hearing from any and all. We need each other and we need Him. Have a blessed day .

  • Carol
    9 months ago

    Calie,

    Great article. I hear these lies every day and, unfortunately, most of them beat me down. I try, but I just can’t do it. The only lies that I was able to conquer were Lie No. 3 and Lie No. 5. It’s a daily battle. Your article made me think. I hope it helps me. I’m sure it will help others.

  • RobWelsh
    9 months ago

    With tradition medicine, anxious fear makes perfect sense.

  • BethSlusher
    9 months ago

    Wonderful article. I think that most of us have had one or more of these thoughts before. “It can get worse” is probably the most common one for me. Still forging ahead.

  • KMcCat
    9 months ago

    Love the article! I saved it for a future bad spell bc I think it’s a really great reminder to stay grounded. Positive, hope-inspiring articles without gag inducing, hokey platitudes are few and far in between. Thank you and good work!

  • Lucylucylucy
    9 months ago

    Loved reading this!

  • Lupe
    9 months ago

    Thank you so much for this article. It is exactly what I go through every day especially when I get behind the steering wheel of my car. Drop foot makes it difficult to drive but between hope and telling myself that I am going to kick MS’ butt and not let it take over and destroy me, I build up the courage to continue on. Accomplishing things that I think I can’t because of MS makes me very proud to be able to do them. And I love being able to say “na-na-na-na-na” to MS. 🙂

  • Lucylucylucy
    9 months ago

    Me too! 😀

  • MommaMia520
    9 months ago

    Powerful message to me and all of us, including our inner demons. The demons that see this condition as a weakness. The demons that tell us to believe these lies without any attachment to the outcome. Blasphemy!!!
    It’s true, I absolutely struggle with the way I interpret the lies, and the time and energy it takes me to change the inner battle to positivly overcome… exhausting!!
    I’ve always been a glass half full girl, until last year when I was diagnosed. Now I have to convince myself.
    Some days I lose, but most days I win. Takes way more effort, but I’m thankful to have the courage
    Great great great article!! This article speaks to all of us that we are not our disease ❤️

  • Dede74
    9 months ago

    Absolutely love your article, it really points out how strong we all must be each day. I honestly tell myself everyday that my MS will not win today. I also understand when those symptoms come on without warning and learning to listen to them. Every morning I wake up I do my best to complete tasks, even if my toothbrush feels like it weighs ten tons. Honestly you really pinpointed alot of the emotions and feelings I battle each day. Thank you so much for this article, I believe I will have a better day today just by reading this!

  • Gristy56
    9 months ago

    I understand what you have said and agree with it but it makes the assumption that the collective published information about MS is completely correct. From what I have found out personally, the ‘powers that be’ are keeping us in the dark, probably for money reasons. This means that it is a huge scam. The only way, therefore to be at peace, is to undertand this, and to adjust our hopes accordingly……

  • collena
    9 months ago

    I have definitely learned to “adjust my hopes accordingly” in the last year since diagnosis. I forgive myself a lot now. I play my MS card as much as I need to. Someone here said it awhile back, ‘it’s not an excuse it’s my reality’.

  • @masbrautigam
    9 months ago

    Thanks for your great article.
    I’m insecure but was probably before MS, but now I feel more insecure with MS and I tell myself those lies all the time, especially I’m not good enough and forgetting things.
    I’m glad you wrote about this because it doesn’t get mentioned a lot.

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