Thoughts About This, That, and MS
These last several days haven't been the best for me. They have been so very, very MS-y. If it's not one symptom, it's a plethora of others. My hands are not working - even more than usual. My legs are heavier and tighter. The burning in my legs - much worse. Every movement more of a challenge. More overall weakness and numbness. Trust me when I tell you, I could go on. Each day, at the forefront of my mind has been all of the things that I hate about MS and its multitude of shenanigans.
Trying to be careful with my thoughts
I've been here before, so I know to be careful. British philosophical writer, James Allen, who wrote the book 'As a Man Thinketh' said, "You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” I think about that quote as it relates to the power of my thoughts. I could potentially impact my emotional wellbeing if I lingered on my very negative feelings relative to living with MS - or anything else I'm displeased about. Because there are more...
Other things in life that I hate
For example, foods/drinks that I hate (although not comparable to MS) are tomatoes and tomato juice, grapefruit juice, Sprite, eggplant, sushi, ranch dressing, spicy foods, and dark chocolate. There are also things that I hate - despise, actually: Illness (chronic or otherwise), effects from a pandemic, racism, exacerbations, and the loss of my independence. My disdain for MS is the same for me as a plate of beets, a bowl of chocolate ice cream, or when I have to leave my doggie alone on the occasions when she can't accompany me - all things I do not like very much or at all.
Trying to treat MS like my other dislikes in life
I treat MS like a food/drink I consume that isn't exactly horrid, but necessary or good for me at least such as water, milk, fruits (particularly apples, cantaloupe or mango), and vegetables (specifically spinach, green beans or Brussels sprouts). Or things that aren't necessarily my favorites to do or go through, but have to be done like exercise, going to the doctor, (and in these days) PPE or Proper Protective Equipment and social distancing.
Focusing more of my energy on things I enjoy
Where my thoughts are safe and where I allow them to freely linger are on foods, drinks and the things that most please me: Banana pudding, butter pecan ice cream, salads, fried chicken, baked or grilled salmon, crab imperial, macaroni and cheese, sweet iced tea and pepsi. Writing, reading, watching a good movie, taking scenic rides, spending time with my family, enjoying long, relaxing showers, listening to good music, reminiscing about funny and good times during days of old, and partaking in good, stimulating conversations.
Keeping my thoughts in check
Even writing that last part takes me to a different place, a place in my head where my hands not 'working,' my legs heavier and tighter, the burning in my legs, every movement a challenge, weakness and numbness, all of the perils MS presents in addition to other unpleasantries of the world slip to the back of my mind - if only for a bit - and I can focus on all that isn't so overwhelming. My thoughts are no longer on this, that, and MS. My thoughts are clear.
How many specialists did you see before finding "The One"?