MS frightens me!

I will say it up front – I am terrified of Multiple Sclerosis.  I know all too well what it can do to the body, the mind and the spirit.    I am also afraid of roller coasters and things that go bump in the night.  So yes, you can call me whatever names you want scaredy cat, cautious or even wise.  It all depends on your perspective.

It’s easy to conquer the fear of coasters and it saves me a lot of money – I  just don’t go to those parks where others are having the fun of dropping from unbelievable heights at the speed of an Indy 500 racecar.  Should I happen to be in the proximity of one, such as at Disney World,  I can easily find a bench far away from the lines and enjoy some quiet on my own while the others  in my party venture on for the fright.  No thanks, I have never been one to get enjoyment from being scared.

As for the things that go bump in the night, I lock my doors and have a few nightlights glowing from various spots in our house just in case I need to move quickly.  At least I am not like a young child needing to have someone look under my bed for the monster that might be lurking.  Scarey movies aren’t my thing either – give me a happily ever after story to comfort me.

But what can I do about that other MonSter – MS?  It’s easy to find information on what MS might do to us.  Permanent disability with blindness and not being able to walk heads the top of the to be feared list. Being dependent on others for my personal care scares the crap out of me, much more than coasters and things in the dark.  The fear of MS comes from the unknown – it would be so much simpler if I know what my future might hold with MS .

The best I can do is arm myself in case the MS launches an attack.  I read a lot about MS – knowledge is power and understanding what is happening to my body now helps me anticipate what might happen in the future.  I also try to do some things in the way of exercise and diet that might prepare my body for the future, but I will confess I don’t do this as well as I could.

Ultimately the one thing I do that makes my future with MS a bit  less frightening is take my drugs – yes, I am one of those people who get comfort from being on a DMT  - a disease modifying therapy.  I can’t imagine not taking a DMT of some sort for as long as I can.   It is the number one weapon that is available to me to battle MS and I would be foolish not to keep it as a constant companion.  There is too much out there in my future with MS that can still occur, but if I should happen to lose mobility or have decreased vision, at least I will know I at least tried to keep that from happening by using a DMT.

There are many people who go the other route and walk this tightrope without the safety net – choosing to live with MS without the help of a  DMT.  But for me, I am much too frightened to do this alone so I continue on my course, hoping nothing jumps out in my future.

wishing you well,


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