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MS frightens me!

I will say it up front – I am terrified of Multiple Sclerosis.  I know all too well what it can do to the body, the mind and the spirit.    I am also afraid of roller coasters and things that go bump in the night.  So yes, you can call me whatever names you want scaredy cat, cautious or even wise.  It all depends on your perspective.

It’s easy to conquer the fear of coasters and it saves me a lot of money – I  just don’t go to those parks where others are having the fun of dropping from unbelievable heights at the speed of an Indy 500 racecar.  Should I happen to be in the proximity of one, such as at Disney World,  I can easily find a bench far away from the lines and enjoy some quiet on my own while the others  in my party venture on for the fright.  No thanks, I have never been one to get enjoyment from being scared.

As for the things that go bump in the night, I lock my doors and have a few nightlights glowing from various spots in our house just in case I need to move quickly.  At least I am not like a young child needing to have someone look under my bed for the monster that might be lurking.  Scarey movies aren’t my thing either – give me a happily ever after story to comfort me.

But what can I do about that other MonSter – MS?  It’s easy to find information on what MS might do to us.  Permanent disability with blindness and not being able to walk heads the top of the to be feared list. Being dependent on others for my personal care scares the crap out of me, much more than coasters and things in the dark.  The fear of MS comes from the unknown – it would be so much simpler if I know what my future might hold with MS .

The best I can do is arm myself in case the MS launches an attack.  I read a lot about MS – knowledge is power and understanding what is happening to my body now helps me anticipate what might happen in the future.  I also try to do some things in the way of exercise and diet that might prepare my body for the future, but I will confess I don’t do this as well as I could.

Ultimately the one thing I do that makes my future with MS a bit  less frightening is take my drugs – yes, I am one of those people who get comfort from being on a DMT  – a disease modifying therapy.  I can’t imagine not taking a DMT of some sort for as long as I can.   It is the number one weapon that is available to me to battle MS and I would be foolish not to keep it as a constant companion.  There is too much out there in my future with MS that can still occur, but if I should happen to lose mobility or have decreased vision, at least I will know I at least tried to keep that from happening by using a DMT.

There are many people who go the other route and walk this tightrope without the safety net – choosing to live with MS without the help of a  DMT.  But for me, I am much too frightened to do this alone so I continue on my course, hoping nothing jumps out in my future.

wishing you well,

Laura

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • Sonya
    5 years ago

    Laura,
    As always, an enjoyable read; but I must say on this one, I’m with you all the way!!
    I have never liked roller coasters, my kids love them, nor do I like scary movies, the scarier the better for my son; I don’t like haunted houses, & Halloween is NOT my favorite holiday, again my son loves these things….who are these children??? I too, keep several night lights on in the house at night, so as not to disturb others, when I get up.I don’t even like most mystery books, there is always an air of the unknown!
    My greatest fear, is that I will be unable to care for myself.This scares the crap out of me too!!!

    I also, take my DMT very seriously. I have never missed an injection, unless directed by the doctor, in the 8 years I have been diagnosed. I too, feel it is my best chance to battle this mystifying disease, while I pray for a cure! I do read continuously, about supplements,diet,& exercise, & do incorporate these into my fight, as I & my doctor see fit, & as I am able. I just believe if any of these things were the cure, some would have us believe, then MS would be a thing of the past.
    I firmly believe we each have to fight this, the best we can, & do what makes us feel best. My prayer is for all of us, to see that moment when they can tell us there is a cure!
    Blessings to you my friend, & make plans to stay in this Friday with a good romantic novel, or watch a comedy on tv….no sense in taking a chance on those things that go bump in the night on Halloween 🙂
    best regards,
    sonya

  • Laura Kolaczkowski author
    5 years ago

    as always, thank you for the supportive comments. I’m glad you and I don’t have a constant emotionally paralyzing fear of MS but know that it is something to not let get out of control. Being proactive with the DMTs is one way to quiet the fear. You list many of the same things I fear – roller coasters are at the top of that list. I can control those, too, with not getting on them. best, Laura

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