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Heartless

As my journey with the perils of Multiple Sclerosis marches on, I become increasingly cognizant of the like characteristics between the MonSter and apathetic people. Those afflicted with MS know it and its effects to be uncaring, insensitive, and indifferent while callously and cruelly compromising one’s dignity. There are a plethora of examples: from robbing one of their independence, bladder and bowel control, driving ability, to inflicting pain and causing one to endure establishments with limited to no handicapped accessibility, employers who have no allegiance to employees with a disability, etc. I’d like to share a very personal and incredibly blatant example of an experience at the heartless hands of an absolute disregard of my handicap (my ‘gift’ from MS) that was both scary and humiliating.

Abrupt disruption

My deep sleep was abruptly disrupted by an intense, loud rat-a-tat-tat on my front door. It took a minute to comprehend what I’d heard, to get myself together, but already, my MonSter was one step ahead of me… keenly on alert and planning ways to let me know just how unhappy it was. You see, we had an understanding…wake up, take a mere moment for my vision to adjust around the Optic Neuritis, before being rendered a less than generous 2.1 seconds to get to the bathroom, then sit there until fully awake. Things were going much differently on this day unfortunately.

Yelling from my lift chair

My young daughter goes to the door and it’s the police. They swarm into my home, shouting incoherently with guns drawn. At this juncture, the MonSter took control of my hands. They curled tightly as I yelled from my lift chair (which now doubles as my bed), “I’m her mother! I’m handicapped and can’t get up!” I was then accosted and yelled at to put my hands up. The issue? With my lift chair remote inside of my tightly curled hands, I worried they would think I had a weapon. With all of their ‘energy’, I definitely didn’t want a ‘shoot first, question later’ situation. I tried to hurriedly explain that it’s the remote control in my hand as I attempted to lower my chair as quickly as it would allow through my fear, nerves and confusion. They could have cared less.

The MonSter unleashed

I learned that they were at my home to ‘talk to’ my son, and that he was “not under arrest”. Worried and confused because ‘this’ was new to us, my son had never been in any kind of trouble before, needing to ensure he had his hearing aids, etc. My requests to see my son were answered with, “Soon”. I was told there was a paper for me to sign. An hour or so had passed, and I asked for my son again, at which time I was told he was already gone. I began to cry, and it was at this point that the MonSter unleashed. I knew that now, as in right now, I needed to utilize my 2.1 seconds to get to the bathroom.

Apathy and insensitivity

I got up with daughter’s help – the MonSter had taken remote access of my legs, feet and gait at this point. To say mobility was extremely challenging is an understatement. And law enforcement, void of any compassion, simply,  well…simply watched me cry and struggle to walk and then, much to my horror, ‘it’ happened. My sphincter, that the MonSter damaged years ago, decided it was a good time to remind me that it was of no use to me and allowed the liquid waste to fall from my body onto the floor – under all those apathetic, staring eyes. And once the last drop hit the floor, one set of the eyes, the ones belonging to the hands holding the paper flatly asked, “Did you wanna sign this now orrrr…”?

Insensitive? Uncaring? Lacking compassion? Cruel? Yes, yes, yes, yes and heck yes. MS is nothing less than atrocious and, unfortunately, this was an experience which showed me that there are some after it’s own ‘heart’.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • Dorry
    10 months ago

    Dianne I am shocked, amazed, and downright angry with you at the treatment you received from Law Enforcement. I live in the U.K. and watching the American shows what you described is usually seen on screen. Not in real life. Here in the U.K. Some Law Enforcement Officers are a law unto themselves. CCTV Camera’s pick up their brutality and such Law enforcement officers are dealt with. They simply don’t get away with it. You should target your Senator and tell your story if only to SHAME the Law Enforcement who have no regard from someone who has a severe disability. Your story is one of horror and brutality and should not be kept quiet. Make a noise and be heard. This is part of the times we live in when compassion, and caring has made many hard hearted. Be encouraged that not everyone is like this and sometimes some of us will face a brutal situation that needs to be exposed. I am sorry for what you went through. The Monster is not only M.S. but also at times Law Enforcement. Best wishes.

  • Dianne Scott author
    10 months ago

    @dorry ,

    Thanks so much for commenting and thanks so much for your support. I am definitely sending my story out for, as you stated, if for nothing else but to shame those that handled me so callously. It’s such a pity that there is such a lack of sensitivity especially in those charged to protect and serve.
    Take care,
    Dianne ♡

  • potter
    10 months ago

    I was going to tell you to complain to the police department about this but I think you should go to the press about this. We have a friend who has a son who is mentally handicapped. He had the mental capacity of a 4 year old and lives in a group home. They were having dinner at the home when the police knocked at the door. His son has food issues and when they tried to drag him away from the table he resisted. He is big, muscular and has won a lot of Special Olympic Gold medals. The police tazed him in his groin area and hauled him off to jail for the night. It turned out another man who lived there that had a higher IQ called the police and told me that he was sexually molested. He had done this before to another member of the group home. Several months later a Autistic man was killed by the police because he didn’t obey orders and got out his cell phone. They said they thought it was a gun. The police are going through special training on how to deal with handicapped and mentally challenge people. Someone had to die before they considered it a problem. Potter

  • Dianne Scott author
    10 months ago

    Hi @f5hwo4

    Such a sad story and unfortunate incidents. Although I didn’t go to the press (yet), I’ve written letters and hope that the same type of training you mentioned will ensue. It really IS a shame that it takes so much to get something that should already be in place.
    Thank you for reading and your comment.
    Best,
    Dianne ♡

  • Mascha
    10 months ago

    Sorry to hear your struggles with what happened:(
    I think this was a good article,merely because MS can be a monster and show up at anytime. It also shows the lack of empathy.

  • Kim Dolce moderator
    10 months ago

    Dianne, I’m so sorry this happened to you! Thank you so much for telling us about this, it can’t have been very easy. It’s bad enough that the world can be cold, cruel, and cynical, but the humiliation you suffered and the additional apathy that met it is more than anyone should have to endure. My heart is with you today. I love your honesty and I hope you’ll continue to share it with us. –Kim

  • Dianne Scott author
    10 months ago

    @kimd ,
    Thank you.. It was indeed a humiliating experience at the hands of the officers AND MS.
    Warmly,
    Dianne ♡

  • Dianne Scott author
    10 months ago

    Thank you so much, @mascha
    I appreciate your comment and understanding.
    Dianne ♡

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