How I First Dealt With MS VS Now
Have you seen that diaper commercial where the mom is looking to hire a babysitter for her first child and she is interviewing a lady with ten years experience and a masters degree in early childhood development but still the mother is disappointed because the lady does not have a PhD? Then for her second child, the mom is handing her baby off to some high school girl wearing all black, heavy makeup and a nose ring? “By their second kid, every mom is an expert”. Well that is sort of how I feel about my multiple sclerosis.
When I was first diagnosed at the age of 20, I was in contact with my doctor as soon as I started experiencing any small difference in my health. Some pins and needles? I need Prednisone! Any little difference in my body and the sirens would blaze as I panicked to get some form of treatment. Oh my God! My left ring finger is numb! Get me to the hospital and administer 1,000mg of Methylprednisolone over 2 hours for 5 days stat! But that was then, now? “Hmmm… my right leg feels kind of limp… I’ll give it a few days and see what’s up” or “Aw man, my vision is extra blurry today, well, c’est la vie”.
I am not sure if I have just become more reckless or if I have developed a better understanding of the characteristics of this disease. I would like to assume it’s the latter of the two haha… Now instead of getting that feeling of panic I get the feeling of “ok, it’s not really that serious”. I really do feel like I know the limits of my body now and I can tell if it’s just a small, temporary flare (known as a pseudo exacerbation when symptoms last less than 24 hours) or a full-blown exacerbation/relapse that is going to require physical therapy to get back to almost as good as I was before MS came in with a sledgehammer to do what MS does. In fact, I swear I can literally feel the difference before enough time has passed to determine what it is on paper. When it’s going to be a full-blown exacerbation I feel like my insides are “on fire”, not like I am hot, like all my wires are short-circuiting and burning up. Maybe it’s just in my head? But so far I have usually been right but never say never, right?.. But either way, my point is this, I start experiencing something and rather than contacting my doctor right away I find myself trying to decide if it really even needs immediate attention. I imagine this is how a lot of people are after living with MS for so many years but honestly? I don’t know, I have never thought to ask.
I can also say I would rather save the steroids for a more serious relapse so that I do not build a tolerance to them and so they will work better when I really do need them. Also, I just don’t want so many chemicals running through my system; after years of IV medications, injections and pills I have started to feel like it is a bit unhealthy because after all, this stuff really is not supposed to be there. Our bodies did not evolve over thousands of years with all this crap in us; you wouldn’t have found a caveman popping a handful of pills every morning right? I am not saying “all medications are poison”, no, we need this stuff but part of me just wants to feel “clean” because right now I feel like if there was a zombie apocalypse and I got bit? That zombie would just die because of all the crap I have running through my body. I am just saying that like anything else, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing; moderation is key.
Do you find that you have become more "relaxed" about a flare up than when you were first diagnosed? Share below!
Community Poll
The holiday season is among us and can be so stressful! Do you experience more flares during this season?
Join the conversation