Let me start off by saying, I’m not an ‘overly serious’ person. I like to make people laugh… and I try to keep things light hearted for the most part. Of course there is a time and a place to not bring humor into a conversation, and I don’t always crack jokes or try and make people laugh… but I’ve found out that when it comes to talking about my MS… I don’t always want to be so serious.
Yes, I have multiple sclerosis. Yes, I am young and have kids and a husband that I love and they have to live with this disease in ways now too. When I was first diagnosed, there was no humor in anything in my life. I was depressed and in shock as well as trying to recover from a ‘relapsing’.
Now, yeah I can have serious conversations with others about MS or about their MS… I educate myself on everything there is to know about MS and all the ‘news’ that is released on it. It’s a serious topic when it comes to our health. But with that being said…
LIGHTEN UP! I don’t know if anyone else feels this way… but I don’t want people to be a ‘Debbie-downer’ around me because I have MS. I’ve even joked about my MS saying things like, “Did you see that?! The floor just tripped me. ((looks at floor)) EVIL FLOOR!” or “Hey, I can blame my spasticity and muscle twitches on ‘accidentally’ hitting someone.” << I don’t think I could ever actually do that, but it’s fun to picture sometimes with people who need some sense knocked in to them.
I guess I just don’t want to hear that ‘remorseful’ tone in someone’s voice every time I talk to him or her. And I most certainly don’t want to hear all of the phrases recited to me that belong in get-well & condolences hallmark cards.
I’m a fighter… I’m strong… and yeah, I have an illness that there is no for sure knowledge on the cause or the cure or how to stop progression. I’m not going to dwell on that day in and day out. I’m not made of glass.
I feel like I had my whole life changed in the blink of an eye when I got my diagnosis, so it’s nice to have normal conversations with others and be back to ‘normal’, some what. I just feel like I don’t want to dwell on everything negative and that’s hard to refrain from when I have all the pitiful sighs and kind (soft) spoken words from others.
“Aw sweetie, that’s just not fair.” “I’m so sorry you have to go through this.” “Oh, Bless your heart.” Those are some things said to me… I appreciate the words… but it’s not something you want to have spoken to you over and over and over again every time you talk to the person, or just others in general.
I mean, yeah, I get it… it’s not fair to get MS. But I realized early on that life’s not fair. I’m still alive, I still have my family and friends, I have just had to make some changes along the way.
I am told repeatedly how strong I am… and stubborn, which the second one I will not openly admit to.
Just remember, “You never know how strong you really are, until being strong is the only option you have.”
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