Keep Fighting

Keep Fighting

Isn’t that something that we hear a lot, “don’t give up”;  “keep fighting”… and so many more. And when you think about it, what other option do we have? Yeah – we can just give up… but I’ve never been the kind of person to just surrender to a challenge.

But when you think about it more, who/what are we fighting? If you want to make it simple, we’re fighting ourselves, in a way.

Earlier on, when I had recently been diagnosed and I was suffering from a really bad relapse that put me in a wheelchair, I had people tell me to keep fighting… I would just nod when they said that, cause I felt defeated.

Now as you know, when you’re in a relapse… your emotions are everywhere and you’re upset at… everything. (At least that’s how I am)

So when I had heard, keep fighting, one too many times, I broke down. I told them, “It’s hard to win at a fight, when you’re fighting yourself.”

I understand now, that it was meant to fight to get better from the relapse that disabled me to a chair. But I was very upset then and just didn’t know what to think about anything really.

I have people tell me that I’m strong and that I have a positive attitude towards my MS… but that’s not always true.

Just as an example, I’ve had a time where I thought that I’m doing really good… my MS is in remission, I haven’t had a relapse… I’m beating this MonSter. Then I had my annual MRI done… I received the results that while I was thinking that I was beating my MS down… that I had ‘at least 7 new lesions’… That honestly was a slap in my face.

So, I guess I’m confused at times… cause I can be feeling amazing… but that doesn’t mean that my MS isn’t progressing, regardless of the precautions I’m taking. And I don’t mean to say that, to bring others down… it’s just a feeling I had.

Now I’m thinking to myself, okay… I’m fighting as BEST as I can… what else can I do? My quality-of-life has improved and if my MRI does show new lesions, at least they didn’t set me back in life and put me back in a chair. So, while the news of new lesions isn’t a good thing, I’m just going to take it, as it could have been worse.

I’ve come to the realization that no one can predict the future… in any scenario. But I can sit here and say that I WILL NOT stop fighting, no matter what. Even though I’m battling my own body… My mind set is now stronger than it used to be.

So, here is a news flash, for myself, I’m not giving up… I’m not going to stop fighting.

Here is a song that I like to think is from me to my MS.

“Roar “ by Katy Perry

 

Xoxo

Ashley Ringstaff

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This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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