When Life Is Like a Rap Song
I love music. I love the beat of the music, and I love the lyrics and how they speak to me. Sometimes I'll need a little pick me up, and music is always there to help lift the mood. The other day, I was reminiscing on the past and listing to an old Eminem song called Lose Yourself (one of my favorites for working out), and I realized how much I could relate to the opening lyrics, and how much they were like a day in the life with MS:
“His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin'
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now
The clocks run out, times up, over, blaow!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity.”
MS symptoms in the lyrics
I swear so many MS symptoms are listed right here in these lyrics. “Weak knees, arms are heavy”? Absolutely, every day. More like completely weak legs, not just knees, and heavy limbs are a definite. Weakness is a prominent symptom of mine, especially when it comes to my legs. As the summer is upon us, it’s becoming worse from the heat. The heat also affects the heavy sensation in my arms, which makes me feel like they are weighed down with concrete blocks, pulling me towards the ground.
Anxiety under the surface
Next line, “He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready.” I relate to this on so many levels. My nerves are shot, literally - thanks MS. But I’m also a nervous wreck most days because of my anxiety. However, this is something I try to hide at all cost. Most days I can’t even appear calm, because the anxiety triggers my tremors. So on the days I actually may look calm and ready, inside it’s like a disaster waiting to happen. My anxiety has been an enormous struggle since being diagnosed.
“He keeps on forgetting”...again I relate. If I had a penny for everything I forget daily, I would be a billionaire. I have the attention span of a fly, so every new thing that catches my attention causes me to temporarily forget what I’m saying or doing at the moment. Sometimes I’ll forget and won’t remember what I was saying or doing again for the next day or so.
“He opens his mouth, but the words won’t come out.” This is a lot like the forgetfulness; I’ll either forget what I’m saying at the moment, or I’ll stumble over my words. Sometimes I’ll even stutter. The biggest thing for me with this symptom though, is I know what I want to say, but I can’t for the life of me think of the right word at the time.
The next line isn’t something I have experienced yet, but “He’s chokin’” is an MS symptom as well. People with MS, often have trouble swallowing, or what is known as dysphagia. It can lead to speech problems, which can be relatable to our inability to accurately form the right words when we need them.
Hello, balance issues
Skip a couple of lines, and there’s “Oh there goes gravity.” Hello, balance issues. MS causes damage to our brain stems which in turn affects our balance. You won’t catch me successfully walking across a tightrope. Good balance needs many different parts of the body to work together to be successful, and with MS, information our brain receives and the replies it sends out can be late and misleading. This affects the way our bodies process balance information. Balance can also be disrupted by symptoms such as vertigo, which could explain the vomit on the sweater earlier in the song.
My life played out in a rap song
MS is rough, and the symptoms really blow, so sometimes it helps me to relate to other things. So when I listened to this song, I had to share. Listening to this song, and rapping all of my symptoms kind of lightened things up a bit. It made me laugh to think my life could be played out in the first couple of minutes of an Eminem song! I hope you all enjoyed this fun comparison! The symptoms aren’t fun at all, but it’s always fun to make light of things and to let loose with some old rap!
Do you celebrate your MS Anniversary?