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JOMO: Joy of Missing Out

JOMO: Joy of Missing Out

I saw something today on the National MS Society’s Instagram, and I felt like it was speaking directly to me. It said “JOMO: Joy of Missing Out.” Oh, how true this is for me, especially as the holiday madness is coming to an end. I hate missing out most of the time, but the truth is, there does come a time when I will gladly take my snuggly couch over going out again. Sometimes, down days are nice. I enjoy getting a break and having a good excuse to lay around all day. Sometimes I enjoy “missing out.”

I’d rather miss out than suffer after

After the new year, I always feel like I need a month straight of rest and sleep. We celebrate Christmas with 3 different families, on top of our own little celebration, and while it’s a blessing to have that much family to enjoy, it’s also very physically demanding. It’s a reminder that I can’t always hang with the rest of them. That’s okay, though; I would rather miss out than spend days feeling horrible afterward. It reminds me that there are those times where I need to enjoy missing out and to make myself take the time to rest.

Down days aren’t always fun

This got me to thinking though. As much as we may enjoy having down days and rest days, there comes a time when down days aren’t so fun anymore. Rest days can soon become a burden when you have to have them all of the time. They become frequent and inconvenient instead of that rare treat that leaves us feeling rejuvenated. Fighting for your wellness isn’t always fun. To most, lying cuddled up in a blanket watching TV all day sounds amazing. And, it should be. But there comes a time when you’re sick that it’s no longer enjoyable anymore.

It becomes a burden

It becomes a burden, and you would give anything to be able to get out. I know that I’ve felt this way before with MS. When needed the first day or so of rest and recovery is pleasant, and it’s needed. But that third day and beyond I start getting restless and ready to get back out and back to normal. It’s not always that simple though. Unfortunately, with chronic illness, we can’t always just get back up and out whenever we’re ready; we have to wait for our body to follow. Some might say it’s mind over matter, but when you physically aren’t up to it, then obviously that’s not true. It makes you realize that there isn’t always joy in missing out. Sometimes, in fact, missing out is depressing.

Resting because we want to

Those down, sick days that turn into a week make me more appreciative though. They make me appreciate the good days. Even if I’m not feeling my best, if I’m able to function like a normal human and get out and about, then it’s a good day. I still enjoy some “JOMO” especially after a busy month, but again, when missing out becomes a frequent thing, it isn’t such a joy anymore. I hope that as the busyness winds down that we are all able to sit back and relax; take a breather. I also hope that none of us has done so much that our rest days become rest months and feel like a burden. May we all be able to rest because we WANT to, not because we HAVE to.

XOXO,

Calie

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • Azjackie
    7 months ago

    I really agree. Looking back now and comparing to what I do now without my full-time job, when I was well I completed so many tasks. I’ve been “retired” 5 years and I push myself very hard but I’ve really gone downhill. I have become a hermit who requires rest. I maintain my home, household chores, prepare meals, grocery shop, drive etc but I’ve required massive adaptations to complete them. Last Summer for instance took me a full 8 hours to use the push mower to mow my 600-700 sq ft lawn. I would mow a loop then crawl into the house for iced water and to lay down. Like you I’d like to choose rest than rest choosing me and not being able to do my chores.

  • New to me
    7 months ago

    Great name JOMO! I used to enjoy my “downtime” but these days it lasts too long, one more bummer is “vacation time” we have to plan at least one-two down days when we are on vacation, vacations used to be a week of recharging but these days not so much.. great write up..

  • Shelley D.
    7 months ago

    Thank ypu, Callie. Another great article! I’m no longer able to work. Some days I consider that a real blessing. Other days I miss working (& the paychecks!). You are right. Too many “lazy” days can lead to depressing days! I have not found that “just right” spot. Just like with exercise! I guess we just have to listen to our bodies, and let them dictate our lives!

  • Sbyrd2
    7 months ago

    Calie,
    Beautiful name first of all one of my twin girls name is Callie! Thank you for posting your story. It’s so hard for my family to understand how, tired and exhausted I get on even a daily basis. I feel in my heart ❤️ that my children will only remember me being “sick”… I push myself daily and thru learning the hard way it’s ok to miss out. I just pray we all could be healed from this awful disease. My favorite past time is laying on couch “being lazy” is what I’m told. If people had to live with what we do daily eyes would open and realize that it’s real. Thank you again, and you are not alone!

    Sherry

  • vvxjr9
    7 months ago

    This was enjoyable to read. I saw myself in a lot of what you say. But now I seem to be having too many down days and it does get depressing. I wish I could have more “good” days that I could get out and about and feel normal.

  • Shelby Comito moderator
    7 months ago

    I hear you @vvxjr9, and know many here share your sentiments. You are not alone! – Shelby, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

  • Pam
    7 months ago

    Well said, I was trying to explain this to my friends when I took a pass on a girls weekend in Vegas…the recovery time is too tough and not worth the price. I work full time in a stressful job so I have to pick and choose very carefully what I can expend precious energy on.

  • Shelby Comito moderator
    7 months ago

    Hi @pavery, that must have been a hard sacrifice to make and even harder when others don’t understand, especially your own friends. I commend you for making health-wise decisions, even when they’re not the easy ones. Thank you for taking the time to share! Shelby, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

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