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A woman yelling at her shadow to leave and the shadow is happily standing still and waving back.

A Message to My Forever “Friend” (Foe)

I awaken in the morning and you’re the first to greet me. As I go about my morning routine, I don’t have to go it alone because you’re with me every step of the way.

You are with me through it all

And in the afternoon, there’s lunch and no matter the day’s agenda… therapy, heading out to an appointment, handling business, writing, moderating, etc., you’re right there. You accompany me through it all.

Then, the evening comes. ‘We’ have dinner, watch some television, perhaps read a bit, and then the ‘time for bed’ routine begins for me – and you.

More than, for example, a loving spouse or mate, clingy child, ‘helicopter’ parent, or even an overbearing roommate, you, MS, are always with me.

Give me some space

I. Need. Some. Space. Please.

When my days consist of:

  • Urgent toileting needs due to a weakened sphincter muscle and a spastic bladder
  • Having to ensure that my front door is unlocked for the arrival and entry of my home health aide to come in as she’s needed to help me throughout my day
  • Tiring myself like I’ve just worked a ten-hour shift from simply taking a shower
  • Relying on partial or total assistance to dress, get meal preparation, housekeeping, and more
  • Having physical and occupational therapy to assist me in keeping my muscles free of atrophy
  • Relying on assistive devices for mobility
  • Fighting fatigue after every little thing I do – including the use of my hands, since the lack of strength and dexterity makes utilizing them a feat
  • Keeping despondency, moodiness, and unhappiness at bay

In addition to other tasks and activities that are a part of my daily routine…

I’m doing it with, or rather, because of you, MS.

I don’t appreciate nor welcome your presence

I. Need. A. Break. Please.

Everything I do, each daily challenge I face, each feat I push myself to overcome, every step of the way… You. Are. Right. There. However, it’s not because you’re a kind and forever friend. The fact is, you are the culprit of said challenges. My body’s intrusive and forever foe… And I don’t appreciate nor welcome your presence. So, MS, since it seems you’re not going anywhere anytime soon…

I. Need. Repose. Please.

Wishing for a break

Since last month was MS Awareness Month, I am quite aware of MS. I am painfully aware this month and every day that MS afflicts me and so many others. We pray for a cure, but I also wish for, no matter how unrealistic it may be, at least a break, some peace, some relief from its clutches… If only for a while. Please.

NOW…On a positive note, after being diagnosed 11 years, 7 months and 16 days ago, I’ve conquered each of those days in spite of the Merciless, Maddening MonSter! Kudos to me and every other MS Warrior out there who joins me in the struggle each and every day!

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • Ciaracat
    7 months ago

    This is my first time posting but Iwant to help as many people as I can Before this I felt like I was existing Now I feel alive again I have to get my strength back now I will keep in touch

  • Ciaracat
    7 months ago

    Hi My name is Mari and I just have to tell you that Ahsct is the way togo The sooner the better I just had mine on 04/29/2019 so right now I am a newbie

  • Dianne Scott moderator author
    7 months ago

    Hi @ciaracat !

    Heyyy ok.. Thanks for reading and sharing!

    Wishing you the best,

    Dianne ♡

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