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MS Has Made a Procrastinator Out of Me

MS Has Made a Procrastinator Out of Me

The fatigue is real, you guys. I feel like this is something I write about a lot, but there are those days I seriously cannot get over how fatigued I am. I’m sick and tired of being tired!! Honestly, being tired is an understatement, I’m plum worn out. My fatigue has thankfully not been debilitating, per say, however there are more days than I would like to admit that it gets in my way. I’m a work from home, stay at home wife and momma to a toddler. I’m so grateful that I’m allowed the opportunity to work from home right now with the fatigue, but even then, some days I’m simply too tired to get what I need to do done. As we speak, I’m currently working on my online job, and writing this article. I like to write at least four articles for you guys every month, and sitting here I realize there are merely five short days left in July, and I’m only on my first article for the month! I write all of this to explain to you, that MS has made a procrastinator out of me.

Chronically fatigued

I’ve always been the type of person that likes to have a plan. I like well thought out decisions and I’m not normally one to put things off until the last minute. For instance, if someone wants to do something the following weekend, I prefer to know by at least the Monday before so I can get all of my ducks in a row. But, lately, I’ve noticed that even I have let myself be the type of person to wait until the last minute. And, the reason I have become that way is because I’m too tired to be productive before it’s almost too late. I feel like out of the 365 days of the year, I am chronically fatigued at least 364. If you’ve read any of my previous articles, then you probably know that after having my son I began trying my hardest to be my healthiest and best self through a good, clean diet and exercise. But, I have to admit; even being proactive with my health through those measures isn’t a quick fix for this fatigue. Sadly, nothing is. I mostly struggle with lassitude. For those unfamiliar, lassitude is unique to those with Multiple Sclerosis. Here are a few facts about lassitude from nationalmssociety.org:

  • It generally occurs on a daily basis
  • May occur early in the morning, even after a restful night’s sleep
  • Tends to worsen as the day progresses
  • Tends to be aggravated by heat and humidity
  • Comes on easily and suddenly
  • Is generally more severe than normal fatigue
  • Is more likely to interfere with daily responsibilities

When it hits, it hits hard

Out of all of my MS symptoms, the lassitude has hit me the hardest. It is the one symptom I deal with on a daily basis. I can go to sleep at a decent time and still wake up feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck. This morning for instance, I woke up after a good 8 hours of sleep, but I woke up feeling like I hadn’t slept a wink. I wake up wanting to cry, because all I want to do is sleep. On these days it generally takes me about thirty minutes to find the energy to even roll out of bed. My eyes are heavy and my eye lids feel like they are glued to my eye balls. I’m so tired, my brain can’t even tell my eyes properly to open because it’s time to wake up and face the day. Thankfully, I tend to gain a little bit of energy after breakfast, but it doesn’t take long before it hits me again in one strong wave. You know those videos of people being knocked down by the waves in the ocean? Yeah, it’s kind of like that. That first step in the ocean and you feel like you’re okay, but then the big waves come tumbling in and you don’t stand a chance. It’s this type of fatigue that has made me a procrastinator. When it hits, it hits hard. It’s almost a hopeless feeling, because you want so badly to continue being productive throughout the day, but this makes it extremely difficult. On the days it hits the hardest I have to let the daily tasks wait a little longer because I know I have to give my body the rest it needs in order to gain back any type of energy. And I do notice that if I’ve been in the heat too long it does tend to be more severe.

I don’t feel like I have the time to be as tired as I am, but unfortunately, that has become life for me. I have too many things to do, along with a busy little boy to keep me on my toes. I wake up so many days hoping and praying for an endless supply of energy, but to no avail the fatigue comes and the energy seems like a distant memory. I want to beg and plead; why do I have to feel this way?! But, most days I just keep trucking a long instead, because that’s what I have to do. I can’t always be young and valiant like I want, but I can keep pushing. Sometimes, that’s all we can do.

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Comments

  • Sbyrd2
    9 months ago

    Calie,
    I am so happy your post was on a email today. Unfortunately, my second name is tired, can’t sleep enough when I do I medicate myself with “Jet Sleep” so I don’t wake up constantly. Cheap “ double dose of “Benadryl “ !! For the life of me I just can’t complete any projects, My home was spotless now it’s messy, kids say Mom is too tired today.. Yes, I’m frustrated, pissed why can’t doctors or pharmacist come up with a med to help us please.. Like you I’m so tired of being when I die enteral rest will come. All we need is help? To get thru school drop off, grocery’s shopping, kids games, daily chore list… “ My Motto IS FAKE IT TO YOU MAKE IT” what a phony comments from others you look great you can’t be sick.. I just want to scream Before the plague I was on my A game now as you stated Mack Truck ran over me. We all are not alone must many times we are. Nobody wants to hear our pitty party. My next symptom is hilarious! my words get extra syllables this is my all time favorite!! My nose was running and my reply to my mother was: “MY NOSE IS POURING RAIN” who would say that really, we laugh but embarrassment to have a conversation stops me like your Mack Truck TOO. Calie like myself we are doing the best we can!

    Sherry

  • GN Glaser
    1 year ago

    Thank you for this excellent piece! You have captured the frustration I feel too! How is it possible to need so many naps AFTER I have taken ADDERALL XR, PROVIGIL and WELLBUTRIN XR each day? All maximum dosages. The psychopharm has taken to rotating me to new meds every three months so they will maintain their effectiveness. I frequently have to battle the feeling that I am being lazy. Ychhhh.

  • Mike H
    1 year ago

    Hi Calie,
    Lassitude hits me daily as well … it never leaves. Nothing works as a “pick me up”. Provigil, coffee, Adderal… nothing helps. Almost afraid to up the dose on these but I’m tempted. What do you think?

  • GN Glaser
    1 year ago

    I’m afraid to go past stated max on them. Instead, we rotate to other stims every 3-6 months. But I feel your frustration.

  • potter
    2 years ago

    It is very frustrating to be unable to accomplish your work for the day. I just came in from spraying weeds for a 90 minutes. Hot and humid and I am soaking wet from sweat, my feet and legs hurt and I feel wobbly. Once inside I realized I am going to pay for my little outing. I will have to stay out of my studio today and leave the mural I am making alone. I worked on it for 5 hours yesterday finally quitting at the peak of exhaustion. I am going to take a shower and watch a movie and try not to feel to guilty about the down time. Potter

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