Unanswered Questions

I’m guessing that a lot of us have thought or questioned many things since being diagnosed with MS. Am I going to be in a wheelchair? Is my medicine working? Am I over doing it? The list goes on and on.

Have you asked yourself those questions and more? Have you thought to yourself, “I wonder what I’m going to be like in 20 years.” There are SO many questions and thoughts we have that really don’t have an answer to them. I’ve heard myself and many others ask multiple times on different things… Is this NORMAL? As in, is it normal to feel a certain way with MS… is a certain symptom ‘normal’. When honestly, is there really ANYTHING normal about MS?

Like right now… the weather is has gone from below freezing to highs in the mid-70’s in Central Texas and it’s supposed to go back down to freezing again, or close to within the next few days. My body does NOT like this AT all. So I’m sitting here wondering, is this ‘normal’ for my body to do because of the bipolar Texas weather, or am I in a flare?

So right now, my spasticity has increased by A LOT. MS has affected the right side of my body in the past, so it’s always been a tad bit weaker than my left side. But now, my right side is extremely weak and my foot is dragging (foot drop). So, it’s kind of like a waiting game, because there is no actually way to know WHAT is causing this, unless I have an MRI and rule out if I’m in a flare or not.

I’m not wondering if I’m going to end up in a wheelchair, because I’ve already been in one, but I’m wondering if I’m going to need it again in the near future.

And as I’m going through this, I have people close to me telling me to take it easy and don’t “over do”. Well, now here is another unanswered question… define “over doing it”…  So, instead of doing things I had planned on doing this weekend, I’m sitting around the house and now deciding to write it all out.

Do you ever wonder if the unanswered questions ever stop? I have. It always seems like when maybe I have an answer to one thing, another thing pops up.

For example, in the past when I’ve had a flare that was identified on an MRI, why did I have a flare? What exactly caused it? Do I need to change certain things in my daily routine? Do I need to evacuate Texas during the summer months with 100+ degree temps? Yea, there can be suggestions made to these questions but there aren’t any solid answers for them.

I remember when I was first diagnosed, a really big question I had was, “Why me?”  What did I do to get MS? How do they know for sure I’m not a more progressive form of MS than RRMS, just because I’m ‘young’? And I was told that being diagnosed at the age of 22 was a good thing, because I could start trying to slow progression since the MS was caught earlier on in life.

Then I’ve had different healthcare providers ask me, “When did your symptoms start?” Well honestly, I have NO clue… I mean I know when the symptom started where my face started going numb, that led to me being diagnosed months later. But now that I know all of the symptoms that MS can cause, I realize that there were signs here and there years before I was diagnosed, but I just didn’t know.

Well, those are just SOME of the questions that have gone through my mind and I’m sure all of y’alls as well. I’m just hoping that one day in the future, we have answers to all these questions and no more MS to deal with AT ALL. I can honestly say that I’m VERY tired of having more questions than answers, that’s for sure.

xoxo

Ashley Ringstaff

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This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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