Uncertainty Requires Me to P.U.S.H.
"What is the world coming to?" people ask, and the question may as well be rhetorical because, really, who can answer that? As much as we'd like to, really, just how can we avoid uncertainty?
Who could have predicted today's state of affairs?
Who would have thought that some things that occurred yesteryear - after all those who fought and died for equality - would still be occurring today, such as unarmed and/or innocent African Americans tragically or fatally brutalized by the very ones in place to serve and protect? Could we have predicted that it'd be frequent occurrences of adults, including those in leadership and authoritative roles, viewing children as sexual peers - and acting on their desires with said children? Certainly, there is no way we could have foreseen a state of political trauma to this degree, nor a global pandemic that hasn't occurred since the Spanish Flu in 1918 - and the effects and uncertainty derived from it.
The future is uncertain on an individual level, too
On a personal note, one might wonder "Where will I be in 20 years?" and that question may as well be rhetorical also because, really, who can answer that? You may have an idea, a plan, or a goal, but to know for certain is not, well, certain. I would have never thought multiple sclerosis was in my future 20, 30 years ago. I never saw MS coming my way even when I began having issues six years before my official diagnosis.
I didn't know much about MS before my diagnosis
Prior to being diagnosed, I remember hearing that Montel Williams had MS. I recall thinking 'Oh wow...That's a shame', but not really knowing quite all that the diagnosis entailed. Actually, I admit that I didn't even take the time to research it although now, I can't stop. I want to know everything. However, my life with MS somewhat parallels the same aspects of the uncertainty of living with the effects of the pandemic we find ourselves in the midst of.
Living with uncertainty
To begin, we don't know when the pandemic will go away nor do we know when there'll be a cure for MS. With the effects of the coronavirus, we don't know what our world will be like nor do we know the degree of debilitation MS will bring. Will we ever be mask free? Will we have to look towards more assistive devices as time goes on? How will the pandemic affect those with MS before it goes away- or if? Uncertainty in any way can be unnerving.
Anything can happen
If I would have been asked if I thought this was going to happen in the world, I would have thought logically and answered, "Well, I suppose anything could happen." However, had I been asked the same relative to MS invading my life, I probably would have said something different such as, "I highly doubt that." In truth, however, my answer should have been that same aforementioned logical answer. Why? Because uncertainty is a part of life I have lived to learn.
What is this world coming to? What is my life coming to be? I don't know, but I refuse to live broken, afraid, and defeated, so I've resolved to believe that there's a brighter day somewhere. And while I'm careful and teaching my children to be the same, I do - and encourage those who believe - the very thing my faith tells me to do - I P.U.S.H.:
Pray Until Something Happens.
I have the hardest time with my MS during the following season: