Why Are You So Negative?
Do you know how many times someone has asked me why I’m so negative? Or why it doesn’t seem like I have hope? I can’t even remember how many times, but it's way too many, let's put it that way.
I know you’re probably wondering where I’m going with this exactly, but hear me out. I’m not a negative person, and I do have hope for a cure for MS and many other illnesses like it. However, it’s a bit different when you’re actually living with an illness.
Overwhelmed by MS "news"
When people bring up things they ‘heard’ or something they saw on Dr. Oz or something like that, they often share what they have heard with me. I really appreciate them thinking of me and sending the information my way, but sometimes it can be overwhelming.
So, let me explain the fact that I am signed up to receive all MS news updates, and they are sent to my e-mail as soon as they hit the Internet. How do I do that? Well, I make a Google Alert, with the keyword multiple sclerosis, and I can choose how often I receive the updates.
Why am I not jumping for joy?
With that being said, with all these up-and-coming new medications popping up, it seems that things are looking up for those with MS, and I’m not arguing that. I’m also not saying I’m against trying the new medication coming out. So people wonder why I’m not super excited, over the moon, jumping for joy, etc.
I've waited to try a medication that didn't work for me
I wanted to take this time to really explain why I react the way I do. I don’t show much emotion when I hear these things, because I’ve "been there done that," meaning I’ve sat there and waited for a medication to be approved, so that I can start it immediately, because of all the great research and clinical trial results it came with. However, it didn’t end up working for me the way it did so many others.
There's no one-size-fits-all
While I am happy that there are more choices out there for people with MS, people also have to remember that a certain medication can work for some, but not for ALL. There is not a ‘one-size-fits-all’ medication for people with MS.
I don't want to be let down
So, with me not taking well to the big headline medication, I’m a bit cautious now. It’s not that I’m NOT hopeful, I just don’t want to be TOO hopeful... does that make sense? I don’t want to sit here and be let down, again and again, when I’m already dealing with the disease and it’s symptoms as it is. I’m living with an unpredictable illness that has NO cure to this day.
So no, I’m not going to jump up and down every time there is ‘breaking news’ for MS because there is no telling if it will work for me PERSONALLY.
Now, because my reaction is polite but not over-enthusiastic, people act like I’m a negative person, with no hope, and that I don’t even want a cure, which is so far from the truth, it’s ridiculous.
For all of those people out there that think that since I, or someone else with MS, don't ‘react’ a certain way or the way that you expect - it doesn’t mean we are negative people or that we are Debbie-downers.
It's self-preservation, not negativity
That’s not it at all. We are just people that have had so much hope in the past, and have tried all these new things, with no positive outcome. It’s called self-preservation, not negativity.
It could also be the fact that you’re probably the 10th person that has shared information with me, and you're expecting me to scream and be happy and go try it out right away. Again, I’m not trying to be rude, I just get annoyed with it sometimes.
It’s kind of like hearing Sheldon from Big Bang Theory say, “Did you know…” 50 times back to back.
One day at a time
Anyways, that’s all for now. I just had to vent a little about that because it recently came up in conversation. So for those of you who aren’t full of joy, hope, etc.? Don’t feel alone because I know that you aren’t TRYING to be negative, you are just getting by one day at a time.
How many specialists did you see before finding "The One"?