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Why Are You So Negative?

Why Are You So Negative?

Do you know how many times someone has asked me why I’m so negative? Or why it doesn’t seem like I have hope? I can’t even remember how many times, but it’s way too many, let’s put it that way.

I know you’re probably wondering where I’m going with this exactly, but hear me out. I’m not a negative person, and I do have hope for a cure for MS and many other illnesses like it. However, it’s a bit different when you’re actually living with an illness.

Overwhelmed by MS “news”

When people bring up things they ‘heard’ or something they saw on Dr. Oz or something like that, they often share what they have heard with me. I really appreciate them thinking of me and sending the information my way, but sometimes it can be overwhelming.

So, let me explain the fact that I am signed up to receive all MS news updates, and they are sent to my e-mail as soon as they hit the Internet. How do I do that? Well, I make a Google Alert, with the keyword multiple sclerosis, and I can choose how often I receive the updates.

Why am I not jumping for joy?

With that being said, with all these up-and-coming new medications popping up, it seems that things are looking up for those with MS, and I’m not arguing that. I’m also not saying I’m against trying the new medication coming out. So people wonder why I’m not super excited, over the moon, jumping for joy, etc.

I’ve waited to try a medication that didn’t work for me

I wanted to take this time to really explain why I react the way I do. I don’t show much emotion when I hear these things, because I’ve “been there done that,” meaning I’ve sat there and waited for a medication to be approved, so that I can start it immediately, because of all the great research and clinical trial results it came with. However, it didn’t end up working for me the way it did so many others.

There’s no one-size-fits-all

While I am happy that there are more choices out there for people with MS, people also have to remember that a certain medication can work for some, but not for ALL. There is not a ‘one-size-fits-all’ medication for people with MS.

I don’t want to be let down

So, with me not taking well to the big headline medication, I’m a bit cautious now. It’s not that I’m NOT hopeful, I just don’t want to be TOO hopeful… does that make sense? I don’t want to sit here and be let down, again and again, when I’m already dealing with the disease and it’s symptoms as it is. I’m living with an unpredictable illness that has NO cure to this day.

So no, I’m not going to jump up and down every time there is ‘breaking news’ for MS because there is no telling if it will work for me PERSONALLY.

Now, because my reaction is polite but not over-enthusiastic, people act like I’m a negative person, with no hope, and that I don’t even want a cure, which is so far from the truth, it’s ridiculous.

For all of those people out there that think that since I, or someone else with MS, don’t ‘react’ a certain way or the way that you expect – it doesn’t mean we are negative people or that we are Debbie-downers.

It’s self-preservation, not negativity

That’s not it at all. We are just people that have had so much hope in the past, and have tried all these new things, with no positive outcome. It’s called self-preservation, not negativity.

It could also be the fact that you’re probably the 10th person that has shared information with me, and you’re expecting me to scream and be happy and go try it out right away. Again, I’m not trying to be rude, I just get annoyed with it sometimes.

It’s kind of like hearing Sheldon from Big Bang Theory say, “Did you know…” 50 times back to back.

One day at a time

Anyways, that’s all for now. I just had to vent a little about that because it recently came up in conversation. So for those of you who aren’t full of joy, hope, etc.? Don’t feel alone because I know that you aren’t TRYING to be negative, you are just getting by one day at a time.

xoxo

Ashley Ringstaff

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This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • SLewis09
    3 months ago

    Thanks for this Ashley! I’ve had MS for 20 years now and I have to control my facial expressions when people start giving me unsolicited advice on how to deal with my illness. At this point I’ve mastered the polite nod and smile. It was hard to control my eye rolling for the first 10 years…

  • SueK
    3 months ago

    I see this from a very different perspective, but perhaps that’s because I am married to a Pharmaceutical Medical Research Scientist. I get my information from those within the industry, those with extensive training and experience, those on the forefront of developing science.

    It makes my skin crawl when people claim they “know something” based on Dr. Oz, Web MD and countless other unreliable sources aimed towards the uninformed, uneducated, vulnerable populous. This applies not only to those without MS, but to many with it as well. There is an endless supply of junk science out there. Knowing how to distinguish garbage from true research is imperative.

    So meanwhile I politely listen and roll my eyes when I hear such rubbish. I stick to reliable sources for my information.

    I know that treatments do not work the same across the board for everyone. Each patient’s experience is different. It is useless to rely on another’s case to determine what path mine will take. There is still too much we do not understand about this disease.

    I do not profess to know everything or anything, besides the fact that I will not and cannot allow MS to take over my life. My attitude toward this and any related topics is to stay positive, know yourself, and live one day at a time. MS is not the first adversity that I have faced and is most likely not the last. I have dealt with worse and survived. Meanwhile, I am more interested in being part of clinical trials so that one day, there might be a cure.

  • itasara
    3 years ago

    It isn’t that I am a negative person per say. But I have negative thoughts at times maybe because my situation with adult children are not going all that great and it is hard to feel positive about it. My MS is going well. I don’t have a lot of problems but I do worry and can’t help that worrying because I don’t know if it will continue to fare me well. I read a lot and some articles say it can get worse with age and others say it probably won’t. So no one really knows! But I don’t always think about the glass being half full. I try to look at the possitive things but sometimes I just don’t. In my head I get very negative with people who are what I would call “difficult”. I am not a name caller and I usually retreat but then I feel negative for a long time or maybe I just feel guilty whether it is my fault in any situation or their fault.

  • Ashley Ringstaff moderator author
    3 years ago

    Hey! Sorry for the late reply. You’ve probably gathered from my articles that I really DO NOT have a filter, and whatever is on my mind just blurts out of my mouth. I’ve REALLY been working on that, because sometimes the things that being said in my head, are not very nice. But, I can’t help it… Most the time.

    xoxo

  • DonnaFA moderator
    3 years ago

    Hi itasara, I’m sorry to hear that things are bringing you down. It’s such a struggle to stay positive when there is negativity around you. Please know that we are here to listen when you need a friendly ear. We’re glad you’re here. -Warmly, Donna (MultipleSclerosis.net team)

  • potter
    3 years ago

    Yea I love the people who think you should buy this expensive vitamin, it cured a friend of a friend of a friend. I tell people that I research everything and then talk to my neuro before I take a new product. They usually agree that is the smart thing to do. Potter

  • Ashley Ringstaff moderator author
    3 years ago

    100% agree on this one! So nice to hear that someone else has the same view.

  • DonnaFA moderator
    3 years ago

    We’d agree, Potter, checking with your doc is always the best course of action. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! -Warmly, Donna (MultipleSclerosis.net team)

  • KarenLoftus
    3 years ago

    Someone said about me, “She must enjoy having MS,” because my reaction to her news about a book, written by a DOCTOR, who CURED her MS through diet, didn’t send me into raptures. I thanked the person for thinking of me and let them know I follow updates on research, etc. When pressed – yes, she actually asked me if I was going to buy the book! – I said, no. Sometimes people just don’t understand that we’ve already heard it, read it, tried it.

  • Ashley Ringstaff moderator author
    3 years ago

    Ugh I’m sorry! I had people buying me books and sending them to my house… like A LOT of books! I appreciate the gesture for some of those people, the others were just being pushy… but still, if I want to take action and read up on something, let me do it on my own time, in my own way…

    xoxo

  • skcullers
    3 years ago

    And so be the truth spoken. I remember when diagnosed 27 years ago being told there would be a cure in 5 years. Would that it was so easy…..

  • Ashley Ringstaff moderator author
    3 years ago

    Oh I know. I wasn’t diagnosed that long ago (6 years) but they said there would be a cure in my lifetime. While I do hope and pray for a cure, I’m not going to sit back and wait for it to happen.

  • Meagan Heidelberg moderator
    3 years ago

    Hi skcullers,
    Thank you for commenting! We wish there was a cure as well. Hoping for one!
    Best – Meagan, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

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