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Why I’m Thankful for the Pain…

Why I’m Thankful for the Pain…

Pain and fatigue are two of my biggest symptoms and hardships with my MS. Fatigue is number one, but pain is a close second. I have suffered with back pain for years, and occasionally the MS hug comes raging on, like the worst bear hug I’ve ever experienced. Recently though, I’ve had some incredibly intense hip pain in my left side. It’s the kind of pain that sneaks up on me out of nowhere. One minute, I feel fine, and the next, I get up to do something and it hurts to put weight on my entire leg. It becomes painful to walk, and sometimes the pain is so bad I feel like I need to drag my leg until the pain subsides. This hip pain is new and unfamiliar. I’ve been told since I was younger that my pain tolerance is off the charts, but when pain like this hits it leaves me feeling weak and sometimes even, unable. No one likes to be in pain, especially when so much of the pain we with MS experience is often unexplained. However weird this may sound though, at times I have come to find comfort in the pain.

Unpredictability

Let me explain. Have you ever heard the popular quote, “Pain is weakness leaving the body.”? This quote is ironic to me on so many levels, because most of the time when I am in pain I cannot help but feel like I AM weak. The pain leads to weakness my body can’t explain. BUT, when I say I find comfort in the pain, it is because me feeling the pain in my hip means I can still feel my legs. Crazy, right? While pain is most of the time uncomfortable, it is comforting to me to know that through the pain I am still able to go on. The pain proves that while some with this horrible disease cannot feel movement, I still can…and, for that I am thankful. As we all know, MS is not only a frustrating disease, but it’s also forever unpredictable. While one moment you may feel your arms, legs, and toes, that feeling can be gone within an instant. I live in a lot of fear of the day I wake up and do not have feeling in my limbs. While I know that the numbness is not an indefinite life sentence, it is a scary truth that could one day be my reality. For now, though, I can walk, I can write, dress myself, chew, and I can determine when things are hot or cold. You never realize that those everyday things you do so naturally and unknowingly can be taken for granted, until those same things become every day blessings when facing a monster like Multiple Sclerosis.

Staying grateful

So, for now, I have come to find comfort in the pain and even embrace it. I never in my life thought I would be thankful for something that can be so terrible and often times even excruciating. I do want to clarify that while I may be thankful I can feel it, I am in no way thankful for it-pain is pain and that is never enjoyable. I also never in my young life thought I would be someone with multiple sclerosis. Life is fleeting, and life with MS is like a never ending poker game. You never know, if you’re going to win some or lose some. One thing I do know though is that no matter what MS throws at me, I am going to be grateful for what I do have! That is why right now, as crazy as it is, I’m thankful for the pain.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • TheBillLarson
    3 months ago

    Thanks for sharing. Hip pain is new for me and while it is bilateral it is more intense on my right side. Your writing gave me a different perspective – being thankful for the pain? But you are right, feeling the pain means you at least still have feeling. I’m also with you about not being thankful FOR the pain, only for being able to feel it.

  • tkmaravilla
    3 years ago

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the battle with pain.
    I too have excruciating pain in my left hip that leaves me unable to walk and/or even bear much weight on it at all. So far we haven’t been able to find a reason for it. Tis the story of an MS patient. Sigh.
    As I was reading your article, it was like some of the weight and burden that lays on my shoulders was lifted, just for the pure fact of knowing that I was not alone in this particle battle. Thank you for sharing your pain, and the gracious and positive way that you are choosing to move forward through it. It is a choice, one that I too, am making. 🙂 The battle, however, is much easier, knowing that you can relate to others. Thank You for Sharing!

  • Lisa
    3 years ago

    Wow! This is a whole new perspective for me. Thanks for the thoughts.

  • Dianne Scott moderator
    3 years ago

    I SO get it! Great article!

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