"I am unsure if anyone reads this stuff but it feels good to write it and get it out. I am so still struggling with so many MS things and it all goes by the wayside if thats even the expression. Just makes me sad i am having really bad depression and beating myself up for resting alot. Feeling and imagining what everyone is thinking. Lost my boyfriend moved to my sisters from my moms and didnt really bring everything so im inbetween both places, moved for my mental health love my mom but feel in the way of my step who is retired. Just feel like NO ONE gets my daily struggle. I am blessed and grateful for having a roof over my head but its getting me so bad inside. Just need my own space place anything. Someone is supposedly helping me but havent heard from her in 3 weeks... idk i know i am rambeling on but so many things are going and its making my fatigue and depression worse and i feel like a mess. Thats in everyones way. I pray about all of this and I am waiting on God I know he has a plan for me but its so hard the meantime. I just want to feel grateful not a pain and in the way and whats everyone thinking of me the lazy loser with MS thats what i feel like and the one who is the problem child never got her life together 2 failed marriages no where to live cant work constanly need help with money the never ending pain of the family and i am 42..... i need this pain to end thanks for letting me share."