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Why Should This Upset Me?!

It happened (again) a few days ago when a casual acquaintance called me and asked me if I was alright “the other day?” It just so happened I was having a HORRIBLE day, with dark, depressive thoughts and bad imbalance and unsteadiness that lasted all the way into dinner time where I proceeded to cough, gag and choke on clear liquids and salad. I was miserable that day and a couple of people that morning picked up on it.

I didn’t want to explain myself

This aforementioned acquaintance gave me a hug and asked if I was okay to which I replied yes. I know that by now most of you are getting why I answered this way and where I’m going with this.

You would be right. I answered this way because I did not want to have to give a long or even short explanation of why I was feeling the way I was (when I don’t even understand it myself! You know what I mean!) PLEASE don’t make me feel as though I have to give you a reason for the moodiness, the darkness I feel at that moment, or try to explain that I am trying to bring my eyes, torso, and legs all into alignment so that perhaps they can coordinate with each other and act in unison!

It’s not the flu, it’s MS

So anyway yesterday I got a call from this same concerned lady who happens to be very sweet by the way and has been through a whole lot herself, and she feels bad because (she said) I gave you a hug and here you probably had to go throw up. What!?

I told her that no, it wasn’t the flu or anything like that. That it was the MS to which she replied, “I know… my neighbor, or sister or cousin or someone has it.” I don’t know exactly who it was because by then I quit listening.

It really upset me

But it really did upset me and I’m not sure why it should anymore.

So often I have been asked why are you dizzy or nauseous to which I reply, “I’M NOT!” MS is not the flu, it’s not a cold, it’s not something that you can take an over the counter medication for and in a few days you’ll be just swell!

Caring enough to educate yourself

I just wish that these people who know someone with MS would really get to know them better and ask questions and then better yet, would do a bit of research on the subject.

When I was first diagnosed, the first thing my mother-in-law did was to get online and research. That was the biggest compliment I could have been paid! She was the only one that took the time to do that and I remember thinking… how great is that! That she would care enough to educate herself on the subject? It’s one of the best things you could possibly do.

Thank you, Betsy!

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Comments

  • MSFighter
    7 months ago

    Betsy, I couldn’t agree with you more!!!! Thank you for sharing your story. I also believe when people go online and read about my illness, it makes me feel like they are really trying to understand instead of sounding stupid because they have no clue what you are going through!! I can’t tell you how much it INFURIATES me when people say “Well, I hope you get better soon”…..Really??? I don’t have a cold??? Do you even have a clue? Obviously not!!!!!

  • Donna Steigleder moderator
    7 months ago

    @Janus Sounds like this one lady checks on you a lot. What about a proactive approach with her? Maybe send her a note that says, “You’re always so nice to ask about how I’m doing. Thought you might be interested in learning more about MS. Here’s an article that explains …..” Maybe then she won’t ask as many questions and will understand better without you having to explain it.

  • JaridC
    7 months ago

    My wife only wanted to blame me for me having MS. She would be angry if I used the power chair at the grocery store. She would see me sitting on the couch and tell me that I am just lazy. When I would fall down and get angry with mainly my own body. She would take it personally that I was angry with her. But the first thing my mother did after I was diagnosed was go educate herself. She is more up on stuff than me when it comes to my disease. My wife’s approach has slightly gotten better since my diagnosis but she is not my biggest supporter and I want her to be.

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