I ONL

Here comes the holidays again. I can’t shake this feeling of doom, to everyone else I’m normal. I was diagnosed in 2012 these past 2 1/2 years has been strange to say the least. I am constantly in pain and paranoid. Why? Everyday it’s something else in my life. I thought I was suppose to live stress free, huh! Get real. I just turned 60 I don’t want to live anymore. I am so tired. I have been looking for a job, let’s face it not only am I old but I have MS. I use to be superwoman, career, home, cars and money. It’s all gone now. I am married for twenty years, he has taken me through 2 heart attacks, loss of job, 4 bouts of pneumonia, drug addiction, violent alcoholic, belts palsy, depression, and lung cancer. My daughter lives with me and her husband and 2 year old. He’s an ex-con and she works 12 hours a week and is bi-polar and just told me yesterday she’s pregnant. Her daughter I can already see has a lot of her rage. Oh did I mention she lives with us to take care of me, huh. My biggest problem is I need a job, just to get away. I have a degree and I am an analyst. Well analyze that. Why would I let someone or something destroy my home that I love so much, I can’t find peace anywhere. I want to work but no one will hire me. I can’t get past the interview. What’s wrong with me, because the final stage will be to lose my home, that I think about daily. You see I take Copaxone 3 times a week, it’s working but I’m fed up with the injections and I look normal, I just don’t know where to turn next I’m terrified. Any suggestions?

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