My life changed in one day!

I say my life changed in one day but looking back there were signs. I just didn’t know it. I was active. I went to the gym 5 days a week, but my life hasn’t always been the happiest. Actually I have been through a lot. A bad marriage that lasted almost 19 yrs. Very abusive. I was afraid to leave because I didn’t want my children without a mother. Eventually it became apparent that they were going to be without a mother even if I stayed. Things got really bad one night and my ex ended up being arrested I took that time I had and did what I needed to to get my kids and myself safe. It took over a year to quit looking over my shoulder in fear. But I did get my life back and I was the happiest I had ever been. Just me and my kids!
Like I said there were signs but I had thought it was stress due to my marriage and the fact that I worked long hours. I would drive home and my leg would lock up and I would have to get off the road. I would wake up to my left arm being cold as ice and totally limp. I could not feel it I could not move it. I would have to pick it up with the other arm. Any way this went on before my divorce and after with other symptoms as well. But thought nothing of it. One day I felt a little tired like I was catching the flu….didn’t think anything of it. By that night it was worse. I was so fatigued. The next morning I could barely use my left side. I managed to get to work I don’t know how. I walked in with a limp and my boss sent me to the ER where they did a TIA work up. Found nothing but by this time my left side was completely paralyzed so they sent me to a hospital that had a neurologist. They did another MRI with dye and some other tests. One of those was a speech test I failed. The Dr. came in in the morning and said they found lesions on my brain and he felt pretty confident given all the other tests my age and symptoms it was MS. But he said they would have to do more tests to rule everything out. Anyways….here I am 3+ yrs later living with MS. The beginning days were hard. Though I never felt like why me felt angry. I did worry about my kids….how they would cope and feel. But I was determined then and still am to have a good life. Trust me there are days I get frustrated because I can’t do things myself and some days I feel alone. Like no one understands. But I refuse to let it overwhelm me and get the best of me. I keep pushing. I’m still me. I’m still strong still beautiful in spite of this disease. It has become my mission after being abandoned by friends when I found out to raise awareness and I won’t stop……:)

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