Physical and Mental Pain Both Suck

Hi. I just came across this website and registered. I read many stories, thank you all so much for sharing and letting me know I’m not alone.

I’ve had MS for 7 years. The first 5 years I felt fine, like it was no big deal to have MS, then the pain set in. I’ve come to think of them as one in the same, they don’t exist without they other. You know the vicious cycle. Long lasting physical pain make me mental and being mental causes stress which causes more severe pain.

The pain can be in my upper thighs one day and the next day it’s somewhere else. It may last a day or weeks and some of it now is lasting months. It can range from discomfort to the worse thing I’ve dealt with in my life. I didn’t realize it was a head to toe disease, I thought I would just eventually end up in a wheelchair. I didn’t know the in between years and symptoms would be so devastating and inconsistent.

As I’m sitting here writing this I feel exhausted I can hardly keep​ my eyes open let alone concentrate on writing​ this.

Back to the pain. Everytime I get new pain it feels different than before, it seems to get more and more painful. There’s always the worry wondering if it’s going to go away this time. Or are these symptoms here to stay? Am I disabled now, do I need to purchase a cane now because some days my balance is off. Am I going to have more days where I can’t drive because my feet are numb and they slip off the pedals. Geez, am I going to wreck my car today because I stepped on the wrong pedal? Am I going to be able to continue to work?

No one seems to get how terrible I feel and how troubled I am. I feel cursed.

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Comments

View Comments (8)
  • Cardgal18
    1 year ago

    I can certainly relate to your story. My first years I felt fine too. But the last 3 plus it kicks my butt every day. I keep trying to work part time and come home each time in pain. My husband and I have both endured cancer and his has been worse than mine leaving him with fatigue worse than mine. I have constant spasticity on my right side from the hug. I just had shoulder surgery on my right shoulder and it has made the spasticity worse than ever. Think I am losing my mind. Menthol pain patches help sometimes. Zanaflex helps some but nothing takes it away completely. Can’t wait to start PT later this week!!! Don’t know what to do anymore.

  • potter
    2 years ago

    Most of us know how you feel, I can’t get moving in the morning until I have had some pain medicine and the only thing I accomplished is my stretching exercises and a shower if I am lucky. This is my new normal, I have pretty much accepted it but still feel guilty sometimes that I don’t keep the house cleaner. My husband doesn’t care so I am lucky in that respect. The heat really bothers me, it’s gotten to the point where I run errands in the morning. Just getting in and out of the car in extreme heat makes my brain fuzzy almost had a accident last summer because of a brain blitz. Hired a landscaper today to work in the yard on projects I use to do. You just have to go with the flow. Potter

  • DVORA
    2 years ago

    I DO KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE HOW YOU ARE FEELING — I AM 70YRS NOW — BUT I HAVE HAD SYMPTOMS SINCE I WAS 24 —

    I AM SORRY FOR HOW THE PAINFUL , CONFUSING MESS OF MS IS CAUSING YOU TO FEEL —

    I JUST DISCOVERED THIS WONDERFUL SITE ALSO — I THINK IT WILL HELP US BOTH TO KNOW WE ARE — NOT — ALONE IN THIS STRUGGLE ……
    BE SAFE , BE WELL …. DVORA

  • Nancy W
    2 years ago

    Dear friend with MS, thank you for sharing. Pain can really wear you down. And worrying about pain can make it so much worse. Have you talked to your Dr about your mental pain? I ask as someone who has struggled with depression and did not recognize it. I have had MS since 2003 and been taking psych meds almost from the beginning. It took a new family doc to help me see I needed more help with that part of the disease. I saw a psychiatrist and am still seeing a counselor that has helped me make some changes in the way I think and act. It has given me a more balanced perspective.

  • skcullers
    2 years ago

    At this 27 years but fortunately the pain has just become an issue in the last 6 months and stil get crazy with worry.My Stanford educated neurologist advised Valium at night and Baclofen during the day. I find stretching in the water helps a lot. Your neurologist should give you a prescrition for your local YMCA if they have a pool. At least can deduct it off your medical expenses. A friend has the car with hand controls as her issue is weak legs. Mine is left foot drop and balance. 20 years ago, after being diagnosed but not really factoring into my life much after initial numbness on entire right side of body for about 3 weeks, went to hear Dr. Randy Schapiro talk. All these years never forget his saying of whatever it takes to be out in the world– use a cane, a walker , a scooter, a wheelchair. After falling and breaking my hip 3 years ago I always use a walker for balance and have a scooter for longer distances. I also see a psychologist weekly. Finding a good one is a challenge. This disease is a bitch but have friends who have lupus and humbles me.

  • Christina Hegarty PT, DPT moderator
    2 years ago

    Hi MonstrositySickness101,

    I am so glad you found us! Thank you so much for taking the time to share with us here. I’m so sorry to hear what you experience. As @melack01 said, you are not alone. I hope you find support, understanding, and helpful information here. Please know that we are here for you anytime.
    You may also wish to follow us on Facebook as well: https://www.facebook.com/MultipleSclerosisDotNet/
    Again, we’re so glad you’re a part of our community!

    Best wishes,

    Christina, MultipleSclerosis.net Team

  • melack01
    2 years ago

    I’m so sorry you’re having such a bad time. I’ve had mental pain, enough to where I had my husband take the bullets out of the house, but I haven’t had to endure a lot of physical pain. I’m just recently diagnosed (they’ve been testing for a year). But as I look back I’ve probably had it another 6. I do use a cane when I know I’m going to be tired because my right leg tends to drag and yes I have to think about walking. The cane makes it easier to lift my right leg without thinking about it. My feet aren’t numb, they just continuously sting. When I drive I have to continuously check the speedometer. Have you talked to your doctor about your pain issues? If not, you really need to. Know that you’re not alone. I do not know you but I wish the best for you.

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