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My Sadness with MS

Hi. I was diagnosed with MS on October 31st 2008! I remember the time, 3:00 PM. The news hit me like I was hit by a bus I sat on the floor outside the hospital crying for hours.

MS feels like a lonely place whenever I feel tired or anxious no one can see it because all the symptoms are internal and so no one can physically see how you really feel. I feel like I spend every day lying saying I’m fine.

I miss being me the dancer who competed and danced 5-10 hours a day the person who went to yoga and pilates. I struggle with all of this and I had been dancing for 20 years.

I just feel sad like a part of me is now lost since having MS and wish there was a magic wand I could have that could bring me back to being me.

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Comments

  • Erin Rush moderator
    11 months ago

    Hi cocochanel! I am sorry you are feeling disconnected from the you that you used to be, if that makes sense. It can be very challenging to reconcile a new and unwelcome normal when something like MS comes in and disrupts our lives so fully.

    I hope you have been able to find some new ways to be creative and active. Unfortunately, I know many of our community members can relate to what you shared. I hope you feel free to mourn the losses you have dealt with since your diagnosis. Here is just one of many personal stories about the mourning process that I thought you might find relatable — https://multiplesclerosis.net/stories/the-person-i-once-was/. Thank you for sharing a piece of your story so openly and honestly. And, by the way, I do love your user name! Best, Erin, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member.

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