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Coping, with the help of music

  • By teddy s.

    I have often read, heard, or seen where people talk about songs that touch them, and have taken a rather cynical view on this. I like to listen to music as much as the next person, but it was always just a catchy tune that you could sing along to, never really meaning anything anything deeper.

    Since the passing of my beloved princess Tracey, though, I have found music to be a great comfort. Three songs in particular touch me, and I would like to, as a tribute to her, talk about them.

    Tracey had no exposure to country music before I met her. When we lived together in her apartment in Manhattan and began commuting every weekend to my house in Pennsylvania, I would have a country station on, and if there was a song I liked I would sing to her. The first song she took a liking to was “If I die young” by The Band Perry. This became her favorite song, and we would sing it to each other whenever we heard it. I play that song often now, and ponder the irony of it, as she was only 51 when she died.

    A favorite song of mine that I feel connected to is Ronnie Milsap’s “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world”. I think of all of the times we had together, many of them very difficult, especially towards the end, but I am sorry for none of them. Our time together was perfect, and I am so glad I was able to enjoy it with her.

    The third song I would like to mention is “The Dance”, by Garth Brooks. I know that song has almost become a parody of itself because it is so over-referenced. But this is the one song I cannot get through without tearing up and breaking down crying. I make sure that I listen to it every day, sometimes several times, to gauge my recovery.

    Do whatever it takes to mourn the loved one you cared for. Be open to the advice of others, but understand that ultimately you, the caregiver, that will determine how you will move on.

    Thanks to all who listen. I hope I can be of help.

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  • By Ashley Ringstaff Moderator

    Teddy,

    Thank you for reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, but that you for sharing you coping mechanism with us here at MultipleSclerosis.net

    Personally, I do enjoy music and do have certain songs that really have meaning for me, that I keep on repeat at times, when needed.

    Wishing you the best!

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