Hi I read through a few links and decided I want to try and tell my story. It’s not perfect, what MS story is? I just figured it wouldn’t hurt to try. Here goes:
I was graduated college, was excited to get started on my own, and literally a month into my first real job I got sick at work. Numb limbs, double vision, walking into walls and doing the butt wiggle down the stairs because I can’t make it on my own two feet at that moment. I had an excellent doctor who called and got me in to an equally excellent neurologist. I was diagnosed with MS 3 years ago yesterday and I am on my 4th flare up as we speak. Today I am turning 25 but I’m not mad right now. I’m happy I’m being treated before it becomes too horrible. I’m glad I have a loving boyfriend who is not afraid to hug me when I cry or when things hurt.
Basically, it smacked me in the face to be diagnosed at 22 with MS. I’ve been forced to use a cane at some times, even wheel chairs, but you learn to make it. I’m one of the hard-headed ones. I admit it and so I get angry when I have to go to the restroom suddenly, when I have a strange waddle or stagger because of damage from the MS that is deciding to act up. It makes me so upset when I don’t have the strength to climb the stairs, when, before, I was racing up four flights of stairs, sometimes more, without a thought. Now, I’m taking two or three steps going up and feeling my mood go down, or sideways, or this way and that way when it’s really bad, and I’m having to lean against the wall or eat solenoid, or wood, or my own arm when I have a really awkward fall.
I was furious at first but I’m okay now. I have a hobby to drag my attention from the chaos of life. I love to write, I’m a novice but I still love it and I’m learning I can reach out to people this way, talk, make someone crack a smile.
My boyfriend found this website after one of my crying fits, after I sat and apologized to him for an hour because, as many people on here are saying, our partners did not sign up for this and he’s so sweet. I feel like I’m slowing down his life when he could be doing something else someone his age might enjoy better. ‘Never Apologize’ by Nicole Lemelle is what he sent me and I jumped on the write for MS bandwagon to see what it’s like.
Well, like I said I love to write and I decided, randomly this morning that I wanted to write to you to the people on this site. It makes me happy to encourage fellow MS warriors to stand tall and smile, fight the good fight then sit back and laugh, because sometimes that’s all you can do. Sit back and cry too because it’s a different type of relief and, sometimes, sorely needed. It relieves the soul just a smidgen, just a bit, of the pain instead of scowling and stomping through your life holding on because it hurts all around. All of us are powerful. All of us are so strong because we get up with a heavy burden, put on our clothes and shoes, and go grin at the world because we have a life to live just like everyone else.
We just have an annoying little something, it, peeking over our shoulders. Let it peek. Let it nibble. I certainly bite back and swat the MS weasel when I catch it to close and trying to twist my life upside down. I win, probably because I’m too hard-headed to stop and I’ll keep on huffing and puffing, and biting back; just fighting back simply because it makes me laugh knowing I can catch that mischievous weasel by its tail even just a second and make it regret having me as it’s opponent.
My name is Geneva and I have MS.