After 5 years of coping with RRMS, the DX was upgraded to PPMS. First a cane, then a rolater, and finally a wheel chair. I am blessed to have great support from family and friends. I feel adapted and at peace with the progressive stage. However there is one thing I have had to give up unnecessarily. My wife of 20 years remembers and misses the athletic side of me. She knows I can participate in the bedroom but not like before. She no longer has any desire for intimacy. I miss it, I feel frustrated and lonely.
Hi Frustrated! First off, I want you to know that you are not alone! Sexual intimacy is a pretty popular topic in this community. After all, it is a pretty important part of most romantic relationships. Since you have been married for 20 years, your wife may want to consider that some of the changes you are experiencing in the bedroom may be on her end as well. Women can start experiencing periomenopause (pre-menopause) symptoms in their mid-to-late thirties. And, as you know, it’s not unusual to experience ebbs and flows in a sexual relationship. If you feel the issue is mostly due to your MS, you may want to show your wife some of our articles and take the time to have an open and frank conversation about your needs. Here is an article that discusses the need for sexual intimacy, even (and especially!) when living with a chronic condition like MS — https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/intimacy-and-multiple-sclerosis/. The article has lots of helpful links that you may want to check out as well. After 20 years together, you probably know just what a partnership and commitment marriage can be. I have no doubt that you have weathered many storms together. And I hope you can look back on those past successes and let them inspire you to tackle this issue together, too. Your wife may be dealing with a lot of emotions that are affecting her levels of desire. I hope you two are able to talk openly about what’s going on and find some common ground that help you re-kindle the passion in your marriage. I wish you the best of luck! Thank you for reaching out. Best, Erin, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member.