So this is maybe just a pity party, and if you are already feeling down, don’t read! I’m fortunate, I know, but I’m just so tired of having people questioning how “sick” i am. Right now just want to cry and at stupid things. The long term disability insurance company has decided that if I was really as sick as I say, then I should be on a disease modifying med, and because my neurologist made a note that I said I’m fine I should be able to work. Now this neurologist (an expert in MS) as decided that I probably have PPMS, but a slowly progressing (I said I was fortunate) and that meds aren’t effective. I had taken meds initially but they made me worse! so I stopped. The previous neurologist thought I should suck it up and just tolerate the side effects. Really? MS isn’t bad enough? Anyway, now I have to prove again, that I can’t work any more. I’m 62 and a nurse. My biggest issues are COGNITIVE and fatigue which get worse with stress. So if I make a mistake I can HARM another person. I’m “fine”, meaning way fewer symptoms (esp the trigimial neurology) since I no longer have the stress of working. So now I have to fight again. I can still do things, it takes me awhile, but I can vacuum, go grocery shopping, etc. of course that means I’m done for the rest of the day and then I take my nap. My cane and I can walk for quite a while. So I am lucky…so why do I feel like I wish someone would just put me out of my misery and the misery of those around me?