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Sexual dysfunction

  • By Theresa

    So, I can’t seem to be able to reach orgasm anymore. I’ve done some research and discovered that this could be MS related or it could be a result of the antidepressant I’m on, which also makes it MS related. Can anyone relate or offer a solution to this problem?

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  • By Kim Dolce Moderator

    Theresa, I can relate. My libido disappeared along with the onset of MS when I was 41. After many years it returned. But orgasm is more difficult to attain now. I’ve stopping trying to figure out what has caused the change, including blaming MS and depression/anxiety. What has helped me get my mojo back again is maintaining a sexual fantasy life and having regular sex, with and without a partner (I’m single). I also went through perimenopause and then menopause at the same time my libido returned and my orgasms returned and reached nearly the same intensity as when I was young. I think that was not a coincidence, the hormonal shift. We hear that menopause causes a loss of libido, but that isn’t true of everyone. It was the opposite for me.

    Another thing I’ve learned: It also helps to not get focused on the orgasm, just enjoy the arousal. The upside of not climaxing is that you can make sex last longer.

    I don’t know if this is any help to you, Theresa. Things can change, I guess that is what I want you to know.I remember feeling aggrieved at the loss of attaining a climax; our sexual selves our part of our identity. So perhaps you are feeling a kind of identity crisis along with this? I know I did. Embrace what you can enjoy. It is possible that climax will happen again one day. All my best to you.

    Kim, moderator

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  • By DarlaKaye

    I haven’t had an orgasm in years. I keep on having sex with my husband but I just am not really that in to it any more. He can tell but I haven’t told him that I can’t feel much and I fake my orgasms. For one thing, I have 2 young children – one is in school but the other is home with me so when my husband is home during the day, sex is pretty much impossible before the kids are in bed. After that, I’m tired. Fatigue kills your mojo. And when I’m tired, I get really cold so the last thing I want to do is take my clothes off. Add to that my balance issues, I have to take it slowly when I get undressed or I risk falling. None of that is sexy so I undress in our closet with the door closed so my husband can’t see me tottering to and fro trying to get my pants off. I’m pretty good at faking orgasms so it keeps my husband happy. I have to say “no” to morning sex though, I can barely move in the mornings and my legs have often completely lost feeling in the night. It’s pretty hard on a relationship and I have no idea what to do about it. MS is a real romance killer. But honestly, I don’t need an orgasm to enjoy sex with my husband. And it’s good exercise anyway – regardless of whether I feel much.

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  • By fifilondon623

    Wow. I like the honesty in this forum. I am 42 years old, and have no interests in romance, or anything else. For one, I had an ovary removed, and then a procedure for an embedded IUD which sent me into a 6-8 week menopausal faux episode. I mean, I was burning up every night after the operation, drenched in sweat any time of the day. I was so sad, I thought menopause had started, however it went away. Anyway, it took any little bit of libido I had left. LOL!!! I hope I get it back as you suggested Kim. Otherwise life is pretty annoying and frustrating at this point.

    Glad there is a place that is not scared to talk about what is really going on in an everyday struggle with MS.

    Thanks to you both.

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  • By freedom

    One of my symptoms before diagnosis was a decreased ability to achieve orgasm. I was also menopausal so I just thought it was that. By the time I was dx I was just about numb there. Also have bowel and bladder issues. Just like it was dead! Nothing. I started HRT therapy and it seemed to help other menopausal symptoms. ( hot flashes, moodiness, etc). I kept trying to achieve orgasms but very difficult and usually not at all. Yes it does bother you. But then out of nowhere, 5 years later it is the opposite. I can be doing nothing and all of the sudden I m intensely aroused and it’s quite annoying. Specially if you’re grocery shopping or visiting with your family! I can now have orgasms at times. So you just never know with this disease what’s around the corner.

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  • By TheBillLarson

    I hope I don’t scare or offend you being a male replying to this and having read your posts, because that is not at all my intent. I figure to bring a male perspective to the discussion of the impact of MS on sex.

    I am recently diagnosed with MS (it will be one year on 3/28/2017) and the whole impact of MS on life in many areas is a huge learning curve for me that I’m no where near figuring out. Specifically regarding sex, it has been difficult for me to figure out. I have an active imagination and it is not difficult for me to fantasize or think about sex, and usually when I do I am easily able to become physically aroused as well. I’d say slowly over the last couple years, but more so quickly in the last few months, my ability to become physically aroused has diminished. My mental aptitude is still there, but that’s’ about it. It doesn’t matter if I am with my wife or on my own, my ability to achieve and maintain a sufficient erection is not very common. I am usually able to achieve orgasm, but the intensity is greatly diminished from before. Also I find that orgasm is typically premature. At the risk of being a bit too open, it is insanely maddening and frustrating to orgasm when I am not even close to being fully aroused physically, and beyond that having the orgasm lack the intensity it once was. It was something that was never an issue that I can remember, with or without a partner. Now it pretty much is a fact of life.

    At this point I haven’t bothered to discuss this with my doctors because it doesn’t really matter much at this point. My wife has medical concerns (not MS related) that have negatively impacted her libido as well so sex is not something considered often, if at all. I hope we are both able to overcome our respective challenges because while I know sex isn’t the only thing in a marriage/relationship, it still is an important part that provides deep intimacy in many ways.

    Boy, I never thought I would be posting something like this!

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  • By Jim669

    Hello everyone, I am a male with MS for 7 yrs. I am a 35 yr old that is unable to have an imagination. I haven’t had a dream in 5 hrs and that part of me feels dead. Not being able to have a physical connection has cause me to feel dead on the inside. My dream of having my own family is now destroyed. Medications don’t work and my partner gave up and left me. I am sorry for my inappropriate response but, not many people to talk to about it. This has caused me some major depression and feelings of hopelessness.

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    • By Erin Rush Moderator

      Hi Jim669! I am glad you felt comfortable enough to share in this forum. Don’t ever apologize for being honest here. Unfortunately, I know that at least a few of our community members can relate to what you shared (both male and female). We have a couple of young male writers here that write pieces that you may find relatable. Devin Garlit — https://multiplesclerosis.net/author/dev71/ and Matt Allen G — https://multiplesclerosis.net/author/MattAllenG/. Both of them write quite frankly about all manner of issues related to MS, including the dissolution of relationships, depression, anger, etc. I am so glad you took the time to share here and I hope it helps to know you are not alone in this. Please feel free to keep sharing, as you feel comfortable. Best, Erin, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member.

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  • By Marcie Kim

    Have any of you men experienced penis retraction? The urologist didn’t offer much of an explanation about what happened with my husband. I asked if it is related to neurological damage to the pelvic floor, or maybe muscle spasm, and the urologist seemed to think either could be possible. My husband experienced hypersensitivity for a couple of years before losing all feeling in his pelvic region; then both his penis and testicles retracted up into his body. I’ve not seen anything online about this specific to MS, so it’s either uncommon or just awkward to discuss. I would appreciate any insights you can share.

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  • By Marcie Kim

    Have any of you men experienced penis retraction? The urologist didn’t offer much of an explanation about what happened with my husband. I asked if it is related to neurological damage to the pelvic floor, or maybe muscle spasm, and the urologist seemed to think either could be possible. My husband experienced hypersensitivity for a couple of years before losing all feeling in his pelvic region; then both his penis and testicles retracted up into his body. I’ve not seen anything online about this specific to MS, so it’s either uncommon or just awkward to discuss. I would appreciate any insights you can share.

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  • By Marcie Kim

    Do any of you have experience with penis retraction? My husband experienced hypersensitivity for a couple of years before losing all feeling in his pelvic region; then both his penis and testicles retracted up into his body. It’s very difficult to catheterize as a result. I’ve not seen anything online that is specific to MS, so it’s either uncommon or just awkward to discuss. The urologist didn’t offer much of an explanation. I asked if it is related to neurological damage to the pelvic floor, or maybe muscle spasm, and the urologist seemed to think either could be possible. So I would appreciate any insights you can share.

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