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How to Actually Help Someone with MS

How to Actually Help Someone with MS

We asked our MS community on Facebook, “What’s something kind someone can do for you when you’re not feeling well or experiencing a relapse or exacerbation?” We received so many helpful and practical suggestions that we created this video for you to watch and share with friends and family when they offer to help. Let us know in the comments below if you can relate to any of these or if you have other ideas of your own!

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • Frankie J
    3 weeks ago

    Thank you Shelby, it really means a lot 🙂

  • Frankie J
    3 weeks ago

    Just some one to talk, listen and make me laugh or at least smile I’m always feeling so alone, angry, sad and in pain

  • Janus Galante moderator
    2 weeks ago

    Hi Frankie,
    yes, I totally understand. Sometimes we long for just the company of someone. A phone call, a text, something, anything!
    I think the feeling alone is sometimes the hardest. Been there many times, as I spend so many days by myself.

    Here is a link to the MSAA’s helpline and chat as well:

    https://mymsaa.org/msaa-help/helpline-chat/

    Just remember, (and I know it’s hard to do that sometimes,) that you truly are not alone. We’re in this thing together. and we’re with you!

    xxxx’s Janus

  • Shelby Comito moderator
    3 weeks ago

    I hear you @frankie-j. I know an online community can only be there for you in so many ways, but there is always a listening ear here who understands and is here for you anytime you want to reach out. If you want to look into some in-person support options, the MS Society has chapters nationwide that offer ample opportunities and events. You can search for options available in your area here – https://www.nationalmssociety.org/Chapters Thinking of you – you are not alone! – Shelby, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

  • Lupe
    4 weeks ago

    Great video . Aside from having someone separating my pills, I agree .

    Something I greatly appreciate besides these things is someone to drive me anywhere I need to go. I wish I could afford a chauffeur but I will continue to drive as long as I can. My drop foot doesn’t make it easy but this girl has to work.

  • Janus Galante moderator
    3 weeks ago

    Great input Lupe!
    There are times when I would really appreciate having someone to drive for me, or even just go with me.
    Thanks for your post!

  • badrienne
    4 weeks ago

    FYI the pill sorting won’t work for me, I’m too much of a control freak. If I teach someone, that’s different, but it sounds exhausting!

  • badrienne
    4 weeks ago

    But overall the video is lovely. I wish it addressed the wide range of MS patients and experiences. This is not an easy disease where everyone experiences the same needs. I think the most important thing for friends and family to know is that they need to communicate with me about my needs and assume nothing.

  • trish444
    3 weeks ago

    yes i agree it is my legs that dont work i can still communicate effectively but hubby has started to treat me as if that ability has gone

  • Janus Galante moderator
    4 weeks ago

    I hear that badrienne,

    communication is key! A very important component in dealing with the complexities of this disease, as each one of our needs are so different.

    Thank you for sharing this important viewpoint! Warmly, Janus

  • ssanchez75
    4 weeks ago

    Is there a way we can share the video?

  • Shelby Comito moderator
    3 weeks ago

    Hi @ssanchez75! I’m so glad you’re interested in sharing this video! I recommend doing so by simply sharing the link to this post – https://multiplesclerosis.net/video/help-support-loved-one/

    Hope that helps and let us know if you have any difficulty! – Shelby, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

  • TonyaC.
    4 weeks ago

    And totally loved the video♥️♥️♥️

  • TonyaC.
    4 weeks ago

    Maybe pick up basic groceries for you the necessities, toilet paper, milk, bread kind of thing while you are sick

  • Shelby Comito moderator
    3 weeks ago

    Yes!! Those little things can make such a BIG difference! Thanks so much for sharing and we’re so glad you loved this video @tonyac. Thanks for the feedback! – Shelby, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

  • jamesc713
    4 weeks ago

    Great video!

  • Giova
    4 weeks ago

    Love the video and idea behind it in particular the “I’m fine face”.
    I am always asked how I am like all MF fellow MS sufferers probably are. I have said ok to avoid awkward questions but now I point that out.
    One thing all friends and family can do is learn the basics of MS and how it affects us.
    Understand that nothing is going to cure my PPMS or any other MS.
    So pointless asking me if the trial DMT has cured me.
    Don’t want to sound bitter but this is how I feel.

  • Janus Galante moderator
    4 weeks ago

    Hi Giova,
    thanks for posting!

    I think we’ve all said the I’m fine, or o.k. answer at one time or another.

    I completely agree with learning about m.s. and understanding with how it affects us. It’s so important, and it helps them to understand the “why’s” when we’re having moments that they might not otherwise understand!

    I agree with Stacey….you don’t sound the least bit bitter!

  • StaceyH.
    4 weeks ago

    Giova,

    I couldn’t agree with you more. You don’t sound bitter at all! Taking the time and effort to really educate themselves about the basics MS is extremely simple, yet for me, is the most supportive thing anyone could do for me. It not only expressed their care and concern to understand what I’m going through, it provides a better basis of understanding and makes it easier for me to honestly share things with them, and not just say “I’m doing ok”.

  • Giova
    4 weeks ago

    Beautifully said.
    I couldn’t agree more

  • rabcab
    4 weeks ago

    O M GOSH – I absolutely LOVED the video, made me cry, it just touches all of our lives!

  • Shelby Comito moderator
    4 weeks ago

    I’m so glad that this video resonated with you @rabcab and I hope you find it helpful to reference and share with others if need be. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts with us. We’re here for you! – Shelby, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

  • rabcab
    4 weeks ago

    Thank You, Shelby. After I have read the whole page of blogs, I do in fact, forward the page to some of my relatives and friends!

  • Tigs
    1 month ago

    That is a Great Video !!! I think it should be put on TV!

    Find out if person has a hearing problem –
    eg sensitivity to loud voices and loud noises or if they have problems hearing.

    Also sensitivity to light! eg Do not go into bedroom first thing in morning and turn on light! Open curtains first.

  • Shelby Comito moderator
    1 month ago

    I’m so glad you enjoyed this video and appreicate you sharing your feedback with us @tigs. That’s another great tip about sensitivities to light and sound – thanks so much for pointing that out! – Shelby, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

  • amypollock
    1 month ago

    I think the problem is the coming back part

  • Kim Dolce moderator
    1 month ago

    Beautiful! Many thanks to the editorial team for putting this together!

  • Shelby Comito moderator
    1 month ago

    🧡🧡🧡- Shelby, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member

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