The Other Side of Anger

By Teresa Wright-Johnson

2 min read

How many times have you been told not to be angry? These words have been said to me often. Hearing the directive agitates me. Many would have you believe that anger is a sign of weakness or poor self-control. My truth is that I experience anger. As I process the reality of multiple sclerosis, chronic illness, and distress there are periods when I feel anger. I believe that embracing anger is necessary work.

Angry at how life has changed due to MS

Life predisposed me to valley and mountaintop experiences, as well as a myriad of emotions. Illness subjected me to overwhelming obstacles and extreme joy as I defied odds. There were seasons where much was acquired and others filled with great loss. Anger is intertwined in the tapestry of my existence. There are moments when I am angry at life and illness. Periods where I despise multiple sclerosis and the unpleasant changes that can accompany it. Recurring thoughts about life before injury and chronic pain taunt my memory while seizing my mind. Refusing to reside on "fantasy island" compels me to address the origin of my ire.

My anger gives me strength

Earnestly anger has its place. Anger emboldens me to “fight the good fight.” It summons my fortitude during my weakest moments. When despondent, I remember giving up is not my option. I whisper, “you are not going to win” to whatever is ailing my spirit. Anger has heartened my advocacy efforts and social justice endeavors.

Standing up for underrepresented communities

My rage is channeled to affect change and confront destructive, societal ills. The lack of diverse and inclusive practices compels me to stand with and for underrepresented communities. I am enraged by the atrocities occurring in the world and committed to being the change I wish to see. Anger at the lack of sensitivity and empathy for mankind urges me to be a better human being.

Anger is natural

It is essential for me to adhere to the vexation that surfaces and to process it accordingly. I acknowledge that anger is a natural human response. Anger prompts me to challenge hardship and confront injustice. Equally important is accepting responsibility for my actions and reactions. I have reached the level of self-awareness to retreat and/or summon help if needed. Therefore, please reserve judgment. Telling me to not be angry is a hypocrisy. I am angry and can unashamedly say so. Eventually, I will find my way through. Sending positive thoughts and light to those who are struggling.

Thanks for listening.

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heide-newby Member
Beautifully written. Enlightening and empowering. Thank you for your perspective, Teresa Wright-Johnson!
delightedhands Member
I like to use my anger to push me to solve a problem. Telling someone not to be angry isn't right-it is better to help them channel that anger. We spout off at others and the blowing of steam seems like it helps in the moment but doesn't really do a thing. I like results and so don't waste my anger! Just a thought....
izzyb Member
Nice article. Anger is one of many emotions,& no emotion can be labeled 'good' or 'bad.' They exist to further our growth as human beings. It's what we do with those emotions that defines 'good' or 'bad.' As we age, it is equally important that our emotional growth continues. I wish our Society had been more successful embracing this concept. I think that we'd be in a much better place right now if it had.
Kim Dolce Moderator & Contributor
Teresa! We are of like minds on the subject of anger. I wrote an article about it some years ago and it expressed a lot of what you've addressed. I too have been told to put a lid on it, which just made me angrier. I've always said that anger is a red flag that something is wrong, usually along the lines of misunderstanding, flagrant injustice and knee-jerk judgments. Often I express my pain through anger, which doesn't get me much compassion or understanding. People don't hear the words, only the strident tone. I grew up with a hothead of a father who flew into blind rages, and this gave me permission to express anger much more easily than most people seem to. Perhaps they had no model for angry behavior. I don't know. But especially in these times, anger is being perceived more and more as a violent threat. Suppression is being vigorously touted as a heavy-handed but appropriate solution to social unrest. It feels like the late 60s and early 70s all over again, a time when I was coming of age. Keep up the good fight and stay angry, my friend. Best, Kim
toledo34287 Member
Anger. It’s something I’ve not experienced in a while, but it came back the other day, quick and without prior notice. I found myself throwing things and cursing at inanimate objects. Looking back, I think it’s summer coming to Florida. The heat index is 101%. I think I prepare so well. I cannot stand any type of fabric on my back. It’s such an urgent rush to get it off me I pull and curse, and on and on. So yeah, I’m angry: that my summer fatigue keeps me from going out, that lassitude keeps me from doing anything. So I feel your anger.......it’s ok
toledo34287 Member
AND another thing, sorry. Friends who have MS tell me to get over it when I $=(*=- and complain. I don’t want them telling me this, I want someone, anyone on my side. It’s not about my anger, it’s about frustration, and constant pain, and fear of going out, even for a few minutes. Talk about MS being lonely (that can make me angry too)
1. colette4 Member
 Hi, I'm sorry to hear that your father was not able to cope with Florida heat. I love heat, never can get enough, I'm always cold. We were supposed to be headed there, but things are taking longer than we expected. I just hope we are out soon. My husband grew up in Dallas and lived and worked in Orlando for a number of years. I hope we will be allright.
2. colette4 Member
 Hi Toledo34287 - I know exactly how you feel - the complaining, frustration, constant pain, and fear of going outside because of being old and vulnerable. Yes, it is very lonely, really lonely sometimes. Then with all the quarantines and those people complaining about being cooped up, hey welcome to our world!
colette4 Member
Teresa Wright-Johnson, I loved your article. And I certainly know about anger. I have been angry since I was told I had MS, that I can't do certain things, and so many other things, and, of course, the "why me?" Unlike you, I wish I could be like you, I haven't been able to direct it or channel it into something worthwhile.