Playing the Cards You Were Dealt

By Matt Allen G

5 min read

Everyone in life is born into a different set of circumstances. Some people are born into a life of poverty, and others are born with a silver spoon in their mouths. It seems unfair, and, well, that’s because it is. But that’s life, right? Being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) would probably count as a crappy circumstance, and I’m sure most people would agree.

Being aware of the imbalances in life

I never really played the whole, “Oh man, why me, this is so unfair,” game, but I’ve definitely always been aware that life is random, which means some people have and get things that others don’t. For most of my life with MS, I just tried to come to terms with that and accept that I had a cap on my capacity for success in life. But after really getting into the card game UNO, my opinion on the matter changed.

MS is a crappy hand of cards

Before I talk about what I’ve learned from a simple game of UNO, I want to talk about what I thought and how I felt about how MS would affect my capacity for success in life. When I was first diagnosed, I really had no idea what the reality of this chronic illness looked like. This meant that I was filled with a motivation to overcome that I had never experienced in my life before. MS would not take me down and keep me from living the life I wanted to live.

Experiencing MS burnout over time

But as time went on, and my MS gifted me with more and more neurological damage, I slowly lost that drive to fight. MS, and life in general, gradually gained the upper hand and burnt me out. People I grew up with were becoming so much further ahead in life than me. They were getting married, having kids, buying homes, starting careers, etc. Everything that society had always conditioned me to believe were the symbols of success. Again, I don’t like to look at things in terms of fairness, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t envious.

Feeling like I’ll never be able to win

I began to believe that despite any amount of effort I could ever conjure, I would never win. I would never achieve the success I wanted, so my will to fight slowly turned into striving to be “just okay” with my life. Seriously, what else could I really do? MS was a crappy hand of cards. So the idea that I could equally compete with everyone else in the world trying to climb the totem pole of success just seemed asinine. Being “just okay” and learning to not compare myself to others seemed like a much better option than being unhappy. So that was the goal I set.

A simple game of UNO

In 2010, around the time that MS made its way into my life, I was dating a girl whose family was big on card games. Not poker or blackjack, I’m talking games like Phase 10, Skip-Bo, and UNO. So, of course, this meant that I now liked them too. Every Friday, we all got together, had a few drinks, and played cards. I don’t know if I would say I was any good or not, but I definitely got a lot better than I was before, and I quickly started to really enjoy playing.

Getting back into the game

Fast forward about eight years, and I bought a Nintendo Switch to play a specific game that I just had to play. While browsing some of the other games available, I came across a multiplayer UNO game where I could play against other people online! At first, I only played it every so often, but once 2020 rolled in, and I found myself looking for things to kill time, I started getting more into it. Eventually, I would begin to play a round every night as part of my nightly routine. Soon, I was one of the pros. But why am I telling you any of this?

By the way, I’m not sponsored by UNO or Nintendo!

Any hand can win, regardless of the odds

Now, I know UNO is not a game that everyone is familiar with. Especially when this online version offers so many different rule sets you can apply to make it more challenging. So just know this: You want to be the first person to get rid of all your cards. At the start of the game, each player is dealt seven random cards. Sometimes you start a game with a great hand, and sometimes you start with a crappy hand.

Overcoming the odds

When I first started playing, getting a crappy hand when other players seemed to have nothing but wild cards often caused me to immediately think there was no way I could win. The idea that I could somehow overcome the odds and win seemed...crazy. But as I learned how to play better, I no longer found myself thinking this. I realized that no matter how terrible of a hand I was dealt, I could still win. It would just require a lot more thinking and strategy. It sucked, but I stopped letting it make me think I couldn’t win.

See the connection? Because I did.

I’m sure you’ve already made the connection, but one night it dawned on me. Life is no different. Life may have dealt me a crappy hand while dealing others a great hand that gave them a considerable advantage in life, but that doesn’t mean I can’t “win.” It just means I have to think about the “cards” I DO have and how I can strategically use them to succeed. To acquire the success I want in life. Of course, I obviously still have limitations as MS will always be in the cards for me, but I’m now under the belief that I don’t have to settle for less.

Finding my motivation

Once again, I feel motivated to beat my MS. It has been so long since I felt this way. I don’t know how I’ll get to where I want to be, but now I believe that I can, which for me, is all I need to be motivated. This may all sound silly to you, but everyone finds inspiration and motivation in different places.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

Please read our rules before commenting.

kategrace Member
Great analogy!
njb3 Member
You have the perfect analogy here!
Therry Neilsen Moderator & Contributor
Matt, what an interesting post! I have a friend offline who often talks about how unlucky he is at life, since he wanted to be an orchestral musician and the debilitating chronic illness he lives with made that impossible. I have to say I never thought of being unlucky to have MS in just the way that you and He have thought of it, as preventing me from reaching my goals in life. I will readily admit that I was already married when I was diagnosed with MS, had already decided NOT to reproduce, and was pretty well settled in a wonderful job that didn''t pay much where I was looked down on by people who had REAL jobs, but then, I got sick in the late seventies, and never had much of an expectation of being what they call a success. I was a woman. Women are supposed to be sick and unproductive. But I have done some amazing things with this illness, and I think the freedom from expectations pushed me to make those adjustments you speak of . But Matt, I look at where you are, an effective and eloquent advocate with considerable self-knowledge and a substantial online persona, and YOU'RE who I look at as an example of success. If that's where you get without being motivated, I'd say, stick a fork in you, pal. You are well-done already!
1. Matt Allen G Moderator & Contributor
 Thank you, as I have many thoughts on the subject (many of which are always changing) one of the most objective responses I have is that I suppose "luck" is ultimately a matter of perspective. My own perspective, of course, is something that is always shifting as time moves along. Again, thank you for your comment!
Harry1968 Member
Matt are your goals to get married buy a house have a few kids and a good career ? I hope you achieve them all if they are your goals.
1. Matt Allen G Moderator & Contributor
 My goal is to feel secure in my job/career, buy a home, and feel like I can just breathe in life haha... I don't feel like I'm asking for much in life but maybe I'm wrong?
f5hwo4 Member
Matt I was always inspired and motivated by your writing. I always thought if this young man can face his MS with such passion and creativity in his writing so can I. Potter
1. Matt Allen G Moderator & Contributor
 I'm glad to hear that you feel that way! The idea that I may have inspired/motivated someone who took the time to read what I had to say is definitely a good feeling. You could say that it inspires.motivates me to KEEP writing!
kdpunshon Member
Matt, your story does not sound 'silly' at all and in fact its quite brilliant. I do not have MS, my son does. He is still in the fighting stage. Well actually he is more or less in the denial stage..still.. after 5 years. There is nothing I can do as he is now 30 but I hope one day he can find inspiration as you have. Thank you for sharing your story.
1. Matt Allen G Moderator & Contributor
 I'm certain he will, in the current era of social media, connecting with others in similar situations who can help vindicate what you are going through is very easey. THAT can help motivate you when times are tough.
Doggett13 Member
The second I saw the title of this particular post I knew I had to comment. My wife is the "lucky winner" who has MS. I always say we have MS, but I know that's not really true. Naturally she is the only one who suffers the effects from one second to the next. Any-who, the title resounded with me because at one of our MANY routine visits to my wife's neurologist several years ago, he was talking about learning to live with and accept ones "new normal" on a day to day basis. He closed by saying this. We are ALL dealt a different hand of cards, and every morning presents us with the choice of how we will play the hand we are given. That really gave my wife something to think about, and me as well.