MS Comic: FOMO

By Brooke Pelczynski

1 min read

FOMO stands for fear of missing out. FOMO can trigger emotions like loneliness or guilt for anyone. But for someone with multiple sclerosis and chronic pain, it can quickly become a doubly painful situation. Either it makes you feel lonely, or it pushes you to go beyond your healthy boundaries.

It's a tricky balance. Always check in with yourself by bringing it back to your body's pain points and limitations. Never let the guilt or fear be bigger than your body's needs. If you choose to say yes, be thankful for the extent of your body and the mental lift of the emotional toll.

Brooke light-heartedly demonstrates in the comic below risking an MS flare to have some fun and avoid the dreaded FOMO.

Two women having a conversation. Text Reads: Im going to this party.

Two women having a conversation. Text Reads: is it really worth it?

Two women clinking glasses. Text Reads: Cheers!

Two women sining karaoke with music notes in the background. Text reads: do you believe in life...

Women dancing with music notes in the background.

women laying in bed Text Reads: so was it worth your MS acting up?

Woman holding a phone with an Image from social media. Text Reads: Yes! But only once in a blue moon!

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justyravgjoe Member
Timely post. This is exactly how I felt yesterday. Worried about how I would feel and whether I would be pushing myself too hard after planning for a month to get together with someone. So I ended up pushing myself. Yes I had a good time, but I could tell my body was going to pay the price. I was just hoping it wouldn't be too bad. Unfortunately it was worse than I expected, but I will recover, but the trip was worth it. I don't like playing this game all the time though, but what choice do I have?
1. Brooke Pelczynski Member
 <inline-mention username="justyravgjoe" user-id="4051008"/> I’m so glad you had a great trip!!! I always try to get as many friends together as possible, so I can have one great night out once in a blue moon! But the day after is always a Rough one.
Kimberly Broughal Member
<inline-mention username="justyravgjoe" user-id="4051008"/> <inline-mention username="Brooke Pelczynski" user-id="3956690"/> It must be a challenging decision whether to do that activity you want or go to a certain place knowing you may not feel good after doing so. I really admire both of your choices to still join in on those activities. FOMO is a hard thing to handle. It looks like you are optimistic and are still trying to live the life you want to despite the possible outcomes. Don't get me wrong there are times when we do have to succumb to FOMO but it is ok to miss things and everyone in the community has been there and can relate to that feeling. Thank you for this article! -Kim (Team Member)
james-a Member
MS is a very challenging disorder to have, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I firmly believe every member of my household, my five sons, two grandsons, and daughter-in-law, are either in complete denial of my illness or simply do not care about the struggles I have just trying to make it through another day with secondary Progressive multiple sclerosis Everyone all seems so happy and content, making me wonder how can this be when there's a whole class of people as lonesome as me. You asked me to tell you, why I'm so blue? You'd be the same, when the girl of your dreams, walks out on you. I cannot live with a disabled husband, she did say, back in 2001, and out the door, I went. 20 years later almost to the day my grandson gave me the push of a lifetime, causing me to fall on my back fracturing my spine in four places. I can still walk...thank G-d, 30 mg of morphine three times a day makes this possible. Alone and forsaken, Hank sang. Looking at my reflection, alone and foresaken, is what I see. I was told by several people to advise the authorities of the incident with my grandson. If I were to do so alone and forsaken would become a permanent thing. As I lay in bed at 2 a.m. on December 30th, the incident with my grandson is playing in my head. I'll be sticking to the story I slipped on good ole Canadian ice putting out the garbage. If I were to pass away tonight, after turning 66 a few days ago, I would pass away with a clean conscience. I cannot say the same for some of the people living in my house. PS my youngest boy, and my grandson's aunt both have RRMS. I am not sure whether or not my son or my grandson's aunt are members of this site. If you could leave my last name blank or use my last name initials it would be appreciated
1. Lori Foster Member
 Hi <inline-mention username="james-a" user-id="4006826"/>. No worries about your name. I don't even have access to that information. All people will see is your username and you can change that whenever you need to. The incident with your grandson concerns me. Did he push you intentionally? If so, that could easily happen again. Do you live with him? You don't have to report him, but you really should get out of the situation if he is a threat to you. Would you consider assisted living? I don't know that works in Canada. Are there other housing options for you as a person with a disability? I am so sorry to hear about your wife. You deserve better. Unfortunately, many people find out just how strong their marriages are when they are diagnosed with a chronic illness. You are not alone and you will likely find others in this community in the same situation. Have you ever considered therapy or counseling to help you cope? There are many ways to feel more connected and more alive, but you might need help finding the energy to pursue them. Depression is a common effect of chronic illness and it should be treated just like any other symptom. Your sadness is probably contributing to your stress, which is making your symptoms worse. A change in your living situation and more engagement in your community might help. Many people see this as a time to pursue passions that made less sense when they were more able and busier. Some of our members have rediscovered passions for books, the visual arts, container gardening, all kinds of things. One member had worked for years for a manufacturer of knives and had to quit because of his MS. He later created a workshop in his garage, where he makes knives at a pace that works for him, and then sells them online. Some people join book clubs. Others join coffee groups that meet in the mornings. There is so much more out there for you. Please know that we are always here for you as well whether you need support or a place to vent. I hope this helps and I hope you can rediscover joy sometime soon. Thinking of you and wishing you the best. - Lori (Team Member)
2. Beth Huffman Member
 Thank you for sharing all of this with us, @james-a. My heart goes out to you, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I wanted to piggyback off of Lori's response and share some links that I feel could be helpful to you. <a href='https://www.nationalmssociety.org/Resources-Support' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>https://www.nationalmssociety.org/Resources-Support</a> <a href='https://www.nationalmssociety.org/Chapters/VAR/Services-and-Support' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>https://www.nationalmssociety.org/Chapters/VAR/Services-and-Support</a> <a href='https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/i-want-to-talk-to-someone-who-has-been-there-who-can-i-call?fbclid=IwAR136zxnuMeGrW3ydH62oOypdTz2fNjLCHhKH-DGckp0oy000Rqr7age-zo&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=organic' target='_blank'>https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/i-want-to-talk-to-someone-who-has-been-there-who-can-i-call?fbclid=IwAR136zxnuMeGrW3ydH62oOypdTz2fNjLCHhKH-DGckp0oy000Rqr7age-zo&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=organic</a> Last but not least, the push you speak of also worries me. I wanted to make sure you had a resource available if you feel as though you're in danger and need help. <a href='https://www.thehotline.org' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer ugc'>https://www.thehotline.org</a> As Lori mentioned, we're always here so please don't hesitate to reach out if you need anything. Please keeps us posted. Sending gentle hugs and positive vibes your way! -Beth (MS Team Member)

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