Dating someone with MS. Two young silhouettes are holding hands inside a large heart. One person has a cane.

Reasons to Date Someone With a Chronic Illness

Dating someone with a chronic illness, like MS, is a scary proposition to most people. Fear of the unknown, concern over declining health, fear over their abilities, etc. The list goes on and on. When it comes to dating, it’s easy to find reasons to give up on someone. I thought I’d come up with a different list for those who might consider dating someone with a chronic illness, reasons why it’s a good idea. 

Why you should consider dating someone with MS

Obviously, as someone who lives with MS (and is disabled by it), I’m a little biased here, but I think these are some things that others should consider when it comes to dating someone who is sick.

It’s not as scary as it seems

Fear of the unknown is something we deal with every day. It’s understandable to be concerned about dating someone with a chronic illness, particularly because you don’t know what the future will hold. Let’s face it though, that could be said about anyone, illness or not. Plenty of folks without chronic illness wake up one day and suddenly aren’t well. Maybe they have an accident or get sick or whatever. Fear of potential futures could really extend to anyone, so don’t let that stop you from potentially meeting your soul mate. To add to that, I’m willing to bet that folks like me are a lot more prepared for the future, no matter what it holds than someone who hasn’t had to live with a chronic illness. Never let fear prevent your heart from exploring someone else. Also, remember this: if we’ve opened ourselves up to dating, then we’ve already thought about all of the potential consequences.

Adaptablility

To survive with a chronic illness you have to be able to adapt to whatever comes your way. The ability to adapt is crucial when it comes to relationships. If things go well, you end up integrating your lives. Time and time again. Those with chronic illnesses are forced to adapt, yet still remain true to who they are, and that’s important when it comes to the give and take of dating.

Strength

No matter what they look like, someone who’s battled a chronic illness for a long time is a very strong person. We’ve dealt with the kind of adversity that most folks will never encounter. When you fight your own body every day, you become a pretty tough person. One that can handle whatever comes along.

Communication

Whether it be cognitive issues, slurred speech, or even a numb face, I’ve discussed many issues I’ve had with purposeful communication. While I have difficulty with some aspects of communicating, all of that has made me focus on it. It’s also made me practice the most important part of communication: listening. Struggling with my communication skills because of my symptoms has made me more open to all aspects of it, not only on getting out what I want to say but on hearing what others say. It’s given me an appreciation for communication and what it really takes to convey thoughts back and forth between two people. In short, my symptoms have given me an appreciation for communication.

Resilience

As the artist, Lizzo laments in her hit song Truth Hurts, “why men great ‘til they gotta be great?” a lot of people out in the world crumble when things get real. A lot of folks simply haven’t had to be tested in life. They may seem wonderful until something happens and suddenly they can’t deal with it. People’s true colors show when they’re exposed to pressure. Who’s been exposed to a lot of pressure? Well, people with chronic illness, of course. Many of us have been to hell and back and we are still here. We are the battle-hardened veterans of life who won’t shrink when the going gets tough. We’ve been through so much already, we can handle whatever comes at us. We’ll keep on staying great when we have to be great because we’ve already been tested by life and our illness. We’ll still be there when the going gets tough, we’re used to that kind of thing!

What are some benefits to dating someone with a chronic illness? I’d love to hear some more, so hit up the comments below if you think of any!

Thanks so much for reading and always feel free to share!

Devin

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