Disability Discrimination

Being someone who has Multiple Sclerosis, but doesn’t “look sick”… I tend to get some commentary from others when I’m out and about, and I need to use my handicapped placard.

Walking in extreme heat

I wanted to share with everyone something that happened to me not too long ago. I was at the grocery store, and it was PACKED full. I would have had to walk ½ a mile in 105°F heat, from where the open parking was to get into the store. So that doesn’t include me actually walking around in the store, getting my shopping done… then walking back OUT to my car. Let me just clarify that the heat bothers me in a BIG way.

Using my handicap placard

So instead of parking in the back of the parking lot, I used my handicapped-parking placard, which I really don’t like doing unless I NEED to. So I parked in a handicapped spot, went inside the store to get the things I needed, and then came back out to my car. So, I’m putting things into the back of my car, and I’m already leaning on my car for support because the heat and humidity at the time was just THAT bad.

Being called lazy

As I’m in the process of putting my groceries into the back of my SUV, I have this lady in full spandex ‘work-out’ clothes with perfect hair and make-up walk up to me – actually, let’s say that she ‘swayed’ her way up to me and decided to tell me what she thought about me parking in the handicapped parking spot. And by that I mean… she called me a lazy you know what (use your imagination).

I snapped back

Now, let me just say that yes, we all know that I have a hard time holding my tongue with comebacks to these small minded people, but I’ve been working on it – to not just go off on everyone all the time. But I was overheated, tired, weak, and just frustrated in general. And she hit my last nerve, pun intended. So I told her she needed to get the stick out of her uptight… yeah. She then proceeded to stomp away from me in a true temper tantrum fashion. All while I’m still at the back of my car, trying to not fall over.

Now, this little interaction that lasted maybe a minute ruined the rest of my day because I was already having a not-so-good day to begin with. But this is what brings me to the topic of Disability Discrimination. Because I know that I’m not the only one that has gone through this, and I won’t be the last.

I’m already defending myself

The way I see it is, I’m already defending myself from, well, myself. Why do other people have to add to that? I know that a lot of people are just uneducated, and don’t understand that not all disabilities are visible. This goes to show that there needs to be more awareness to the general public about diseases like MS, that aren’t always visible.

I guess I shouldn’t assume that everyone out there has the common courtesy of being polite and respectful to others. Because I would NEVER, EVER do anything like that to someone else.

I don’t know their story

It does irritate me when I see someone parked in a handicapped spot with the car running, and someone still sitting in the car, waiting for the other to get out of the store, using a handicapped pass. But I don’t know their story, so I’m not going to make it my business.

I also shared a photo the other day on my Facebook Page. It was a car that had a temporary handicapped placard, was still running, but it had no one in it. And it was using two parking spots. AND the door was not even 5 feet from where the car was. I walked in, and she is sitting there, signing her kids up for something, and I’m sitting there biting my tongue, because doing what she did is just flat out RUDE. Click here to see the pic.

It’s not like I want to use it

I just don’t understand why people have to stick their noses where they don’t belong, I guess. Would I still get ‘discriminated’ against for ‘abusing’ a wheelchair parking spot, if I walked with a cane, walker, etc.? NO ONE should have to ‘prove’ his or her disability to a COMPLETE stranger if you have a parking placard that was issued to YOU! It wasn’t done just for kicks. It’s not like I WANT to use it… I just NEED to at times. I really try not to use it if I don’t have to. If there is a parking space up close that isn’t handicapped, I’ll park there instead.

I don’t make assumptions

I do understand that there ARE people out there that abuse the system. There ARE people that abuse the parking pass, etc. But it’s not EVERYONE. I don’t sit there and make assumptions… because you know how that saying goes.

If you really think that someone out there is abusing the parking pass – let the cops handle it if you really feel that the person it was issued to is not using the placard appropriately.

The bottom line here is that you don’t have to be a certain age, weight, race, gender, using an assistive device, to be classified as disabled. I can’t say that I would have had this knowledge about ‘invisible disabilities’, had I not been diagnosed with MS. But I was raised with manners and common courtesy, and I would NEVER speak to a complete stranger about their personal health, making my own assumptions. I will defend myself at times, though I try not to allow the ‘small-minded’ people out there to bother me, but sometimes I can only handle so much at once.

You aren’t alone

So if you have ever been discriminated against because of your disability, I’m sorry. But I want you to know that you aren’t alone. It happens WAY too often. We need to educate the public about MS and many other invisible diseases. We didn’t ask for this, and we’re already being punished enough by battling this disease on a daily basis. We don’t need anyone to add to it.

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.”

– Wayne Dyer

xoxo

Ashley Ringstaff

Follow me on Facebook

Follow me on Twitter

Follow me on Pinterest

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

View Comments (6)
  • rmdanielsom
    11 months ago

    Hmm…..

    Ashley, I’m glad you have the option of using the handicapped parking spots. I don’t. I hope you never end up in a wheelchair because of your MS. Being chair bound sucks.

    Because I am chair bound due to my PPMS, I learned a little known fact about that handicapped placard. In Minnesota (and maybe all states), if an able bodied person is running errands for a disabled person with a handicapped placard ****that able bodied person is legally allowed to use that handicapped spot and placard****. That errand may be critical for the well being/health of the disabled person.

    As demonstrated by your experiences, the lack of knowledge about MS and other disabling conditions that are invisible (cardiovascular disease, cancer, arthritis, etc.) by the general public is appalling, the only ones I’m concerned about and will engage with are law enforcement. They are the ones who write out the $200 tickets for violating the handicapped parking laws.

    You DO NOT have to explain or justify yourself or apologize for having MS to anyone. If your state felt your medical condition was such that it warranted a handicapped placard, then use it and display it as required by your state. Then the next time some ignoramus starts making comments, point to the placard and go about your business. You will never win by engaging with them.

    #peopleb4profits

  • Ashley Ringstaff moderator author
    10 months ago

    Oh I have pointed to my placard… but they then feel like I stole it or I’m abusing a relatives. I’ve gone through the whole entire scenarios this way and that way.

    I do know the frustration you speak of with being chair bound, I was chair bound when I was initially diagnosed in 2010. It’s no bueno.

  • Cindy L.
    3 years ago

    Thanks Ashley… Do you know what I have resorted to when this happens? I’ve taken pictures of my bruises from my falls, put them in a little photo book and put it in my glove compartment. When something like this happens, and yes..it happens, I ignore the person…go to my glove compartment and pull out the photo book and hand it to them. I then say something like, “I have Multiple Sclerosis. THIS is what happens if I am too hot. The heat is kryptonite to me the longer I am in it. I fall. THAT is why I need to park here and I normally don’t if there is a close space and it isn’t hot.” At this point, they have looked through most of the pictures. They usually just look at me and say they are ‘so sorry’…

    That’s how I have dealt with it. It is still so upsetting to feel the need to go that far. 🙁

  • qsy72b
    3 years ago

    Thanks for your thoughts on this. Because our MS is “invisible” people make assumptions all the time. I also only use my handicapped placard on those difficult days; heat and humidity are my worst enemies.

    When traveling by air last year, I requested wheelchair assistance from curbside to the plane. When being wheeled through security, I told the person who was helping me that I could walk through the security booth to which she replied cooly, “Then why are you in a wheelchair?” I was thrown off by this comment and I’ve thought it over many, many times. I believe if this happens again, I shall stand up, face the person, and say, “My neurologist tells me it’s multiple sclerosis. If you don’t know what it is, look it up. Pray you never get the diagnosis.” I’d love to say more but somehow it seems futile.

    Try to not let the bastards get you down! XO Carla

  • Dianna lyn
    4 years ago

    Yes Ashley, it has happened to me! An elderly gentlemen with (4) dogs in his car had approached me at the bank, while getting in my vehicle. He was yelling all kinds of bad words to me. I tried to defend myself and say I have MS, the guy says to me, “people with MS run marathon’s” and I just looked at him, and said, well I have MS and I can’t run period. Then I got down the road crying bad to pull over from shaking, it was awful, to put someone with MS through the stress. We need more awareness about the REAL MS people. Nothing upsets my husband more than seeing magazines of MS people bike riding or ice skating. That’s not us?? We are lucky if we get one (1) load if laundry done for the day, or prepare our own meals?? We need people to understand the REAL disease, instead of what it’s being perceived to be??..maybe, those people with MS can do that..heck, I want what they are taking..LOL

  • Dave
    4 years ago

    It happens frequently, so frequently that I had info cards made to ‘kick start’ the conversation. I agree, putting persons with MS out there who do some things we all could do prior to MS, does a dis-service to us all.

  • Poll