A Day Without the Shadow of MS: A Dream of Peace and Liberation

For many, a new day brings the promise of possibility, of opportunities waiting to be seized. But for those of us navigating the labyrinth of multiple sclerosis (MS), each dawn can carry a familiar burden: the weight of our symptoms, the ever-present reminder of our chronic companion.

Yet, amidst the gentle chaos of my daily struggles, there lingers a whispered dream: a day untethered from the grip of MS, a day without symptoms.

Navigating the minefield

Every morning, I wake up to pain. It is not always the same pain in the same places, but pain nonetheless. Some days, it's the relentless ache that courses through my arms, a constant companion of mine. Other days, it's the fog that clouds my thoughts, obscuring clarity and leaving me feeling vaguely discombobulated. And then there are the moments of sudden arm drops or arm stiffness.

Each symptom, a thread in the intricate tapestry of MS, weaving its way through my daily existence. Throughout the day I am working around my symptoms. So many projects get shifted around based on what happens to be working correctly at the moment. Arms hurt? It's time to read a lot. Legs? I cook sitting down.

Flexibility is key.

The day dream

In the quiet recesses of my mind, there exists a vision: a day untouched by the shadows of MS, a day where symptoms retreat like ghosts at dawn. In this dream, I awaken to a body unburdened by pain, limbs eager to carry me through the world with grace and ease. Well, at least legs that I can use to wobble around.

And in this fantasy, I imagine my "MS friends" – the symptoms that haunt me day in and day out – granting me reprieve, stepping aside to allow for a day of unbridled peace. It would be a day of ... nothing.

I talk to people who do not have a chronic illness or experience daily pain. It is hard for me to remember what it was like before my MS expressed itself. I cannot remember just getting out of bed and starting my day. Getting ready in an hour is something that happened so long ago I can barely believe that I was able to do it. Living life without constant compromise has been long gone and longed for.

Embracing the extraordinary in the ordinary

To live with MS is to exist in a perpetual state of adaptation. We are always finding ways to get things done and live our best lives and to find resilience in the face of adversity.

Yet, amidst the cacophony of symptoms, there exists a quiet longing: a desire for the ordinary, for the mundane routines that others take for granted. It's the simple pleasures – a pain-free morning stroll, an uninterrupted conversation, a day devoid of the constant vigilance required to navigate life with MS – that fuel this yearning for normalcy.

While the dream of a day without MS may remain elusive, there are moments of peace that still exist. It can be the gentle embrace of a loved one, the warmth of a sunbeam on a winter's day, the laughter shared with friends. These moments remind me of the beauty and joy that still exist in my life despite the challenges I face. And in these moments, I find the strength to carry on, to embrace each day with strength.

Keep on hoping

As I navigate the twists and turns of life with MS, I hold onto hope: hope for a brighter tomorrow, for breakthroughs in treatment. And in this hope, I find the fuel to continue fighting, to embrace each day with courage and resilience, knowing that even in the darkest of times, there is always a glimmer of light on the horizon.