The Embarrassment Of Speech Problems with MS
Having lived with multiple sclerosis for a pretty decent amount of time at this point (Iāve now lived longer with it than without it), I can say that there are plenty of symptoms that have caused me some embarrassment over the years. The sudden falls at inopportune times, forgetting my PIN while trying to pay for something, and even being unaware that Iāve urinated myself in public (always with khaki pants on to easily display it).
While those arenāt pleasant, one of my more consistent sources of embarrassment is without a doubt the problems I have with my speech.
Slurring
I have a number of MS problems that impact my speech. For one, I tend to get a bunch of numbness in my face, particularly on one side (while most wouldnāt notice, I can sometimes look in a mirror and actually see one side drooping down). This numbness covers part of my mouth region and makes me slur my words a lot.
I wonāt even really know something will come out slurred until it comes out, so it can be hard to plan around (thatās one of multiple reasons why I try to avoid phone calls at all costs). The numbness issue is especially frustrating because I know what I am trying to say, it just doesnāt come out as I expect.
This or That
Do you ever slur your words?
Word issues
Another big issue I have comes to word finding. My cognitive issues from MS have caused me a lot of problems with my memory (whew, talk about forgetting what I was saying!) and my ability to find the right word. These things happen to most people, but they happen a tremendous amount to me. I often get lost during conversations and need to work extra hard to focus.
This or That
Do you ever have trouble remembering the word you're trying to say?
Scanning speech
One of my most common issues is known as āscanning speech.ā When this occurs, the basic rhythm of what I am saying is often broken up by long pauses. Basically, the flow of what I am trying to say gets interrupted. For example, I try to say something like, āthe dog wants to go for a walk,ā and instead of all of the words coming out right after the other, as they are separated by my pauses. So it would end up being like āThe dogā...a pauseā¦āwantsā...an even longer pauseā¦āto go for a walk.ā
To hear it, it may sound like I am having word-finding issues, but thatās not the case. I know exactly what Iām trying to say, itās just coming out all broken up. Sometimes the pauses are between words of a sentence, and sometimes they come mid-word.
This or That
Do you ever find yourself taking long pauses when talking?
Volume control
Another embarrassing issue for me is volume control. I have a lot of moments where I canāt intentionally control my volume, so some words in a sentence are much louder than others. Like most of these issues, I rarely know when itās going to happen, so itās a surprise to me as well as everyone else when I suddenly say one word super loud while trying to whisper to someone in a quiet room.
This or That
Do you ever experience volume control issues when speaking?
EmbarrassmentĀ
As you can imagine, all of these issues are both an annoyance and a source of embarrassment to me. One of the big issues for me is that many people associate these types of speech problems with someone who is either drunk or not very bright. Even if they do understand itās because of MS, it can be frustrating for people to have a conversation with me. Iāve done some speech therapy and that has been somewhat helpful, but all of that seems to go out the door if I'm tired, stressed, or a little too warm.
Sometimes I find that looking down and turning an ear to the person I am talking to helps (which inevitably looks like I am not paying attention or paying too much attention to something else, like my phone). Other times I have to stare at them and really focus on what they are saying (which can seem creepy). My close friends understand these behaviors, but it can make meeting new people difficult (you can just imagine the difficulties of dating with these issues).
This or That
How often do you get embarrassed because of speech issues you experience?
A speech therapist may help
I do recommend seeing a speech therapist if you have issues like these. Even though I still suffer from them, having a better understanding of them has helped me deal with them and feel a little less embarrassed.
Thanks so much for reading and feel free to share! As always, I would love to hear about your experiences in the comments below!
Devin
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