A Bit of Empathy Goes a Long Way

Sometimes multiple sclerosis makes me numb. At times, I can't feel parts of my body like my feet, legs, hands, and arms. Yet, there are times that I feel too much and there are sensations that aren't even real, such as burning when there is no fire or crawling when there are no bugs. Those describe some of the physical feelings attributed to MS.

Brewing emotions

However, there are some adverse emotions that may creep in while traveling the horrendous road of this ghastly, debilitating chronic disease. They may include feelings of bitterness, sadness, frustration, or uncertainty. Other feelings I am not fond of are when I feel discounted, disregarded, or brushed away. No person can wipe away what MS brings, but empathy can go a long way and at least bring a bit of solace to someone who is already experiencing the ongoing woes of a chronic illness.

Next step: MRI

My neurologist ordered an MRI with and without contrast since I've been experiencing some new and heightened existing symptoms. My original concern was transferring to/from the table from my wheelchair so my doctor suggested I have the study done at the hospital through Outpatient Services, as opposed to the office, as they may have more options. Admittedly still skeptical and a bit anxious, I made the appointment. Once there, although the validity of my concern relative to the transfer process was viable, luckily, I ended up making out well with the use of a chair lift. However, I discovered a greater issue.

Physical issues during the MRI

Laying flat has never been comfortable, but I learned that now, it is an overwhelming feat. Extreme pain and spasms in my neck, arm and back made me "very motion-y", as the technician stated, and of course, stillness is required. It was bad, really bad, and after what seemed like an hour, I had to call it quits. It was, in actuality, only 13 minutes into the scan. There's much more to the story relative to matters of locating a vein for the dye, an incontinence issue, and transportation. The gist of it is that the experience that day presented a check that my body couldn't even begin to cash. The result was that I was left emotionally and physically spent that day and the following.

Communicating with my doctor

What added to my ordeal was the perturbing exchange with the doctor's office upon advising him of what had occurred.

Me: "Good morning. I went to the hospital yesterday for the MRI ordered and was unable to complete it. It was a horrid experience. The short version is that I was unable to lay flat without an overabundance of pain and spasms. I don't know what to do now and seek your thoughts, Dr. Also, were they able to provide any of the scan?"

Doctor: "I do not have any of the scan. If you can not follow through we will just not be able to get the scan."

The importance of empathy in healthcare

The response, in my opinion, was curt and dismissive and I didn't like how it made me feel. Incidentally, I did express my concern and was told "I truly apologize. I am fully aware this is your MS making this difficult for you..." and I now have an appointment to meet with the doctor. But the bottom line is...where's the empathy?

How I would love to be capable of 'following through' with the MRI - amongst the ability to do a plethora of other things at this stage of my MS. The least someone, especially a professional, can do is to be cognizant of one's feelings. Truly, a bit of empathy goes a long way.

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." — Maya Angelou

Editor’s Note: We are extremely saddened to say that on December 2nd, 2024, Dianne Scott passed away. Dianne’s advocacy efforts and writing continue to reach many. She will be deeply missed.