With MS, Remember to Focus on the Needs of Others, Too

My husband, Dan, and I should be adaptive Zumba dancing at Evolution Fitness, our local fitness center, right now. The Latin-inspired dance class was supposed to give us a fun multiple sclerosis- and wheelchair-appropriate cardio workout. I even had purchased Dan and I obnoxious neon yellow T-shirts for the glow-in-the-dark nighttime event, but we are not there.

Instead of working out, we are sitting on our living room sofa with Teddy. Teddy is a big, beautiful red golden retriever, and he belongs to my older brother, Steve. Steve was instrumental in helping me when I was diagnosed with MS shortly after my 23rd birthday (way back in my pre-Dan Digmann days). Steve selflessly stepped up to serve as my primary caregiver when my MS was rapidly progressing.

Forever grateful

I am forever grateful for Steve’s emotional support. His humor and companionship picked me up, whether we were watching Iron Chef or Eek! the Cat, Steve was there. Not only did he emotionally pick me up, but he often literally picked me up as I was losing my ability to walk; you know how falls happen. I have always felt I could not thank Steve enough.

But an unfortunate opportunity to show my gratitude came just as my caregiver and I were setting out Dan and my neon yellow attire for that aforementioned Zumba class.

Returning the help

I got a phone call from my mom that Steve needed my help, and asking if we would be able to take care of Teddy for a few weeks. “Absolutely!” I said without hesitation, knowing Dan would echo my enthusiasm to help Steve and have Teddy as our four-legged houseguest.

While it may been a bit disappointing that we were going to miss our glow-in-the-dark Zumba extravaganza, I knew that there would be other events at Evolution Fitness where Dan and I could get our dancing fix. Taking care of Teddy to help my brother was what I wanted and had to do.

When living with MS (mine is secondary progressive), it often feels like I am the person who is always asking for help. Whether I’m asking for help to open a jar or a door; or to transfer to and from my power wheelchair; or to fold laundry or unload the dishwasher; or shop for groceries or drive to the doctor; there is a lot that I no longer can do by myself.

But the reality is just because I have multiple sclerosis doesn’t mean that people don’t depend on me or benefit from the help I can provide. There is so much I still can do.

I still have so much to offer in spite of MS

The key is to keep our eyes and ears open for when our friends, family or even perfect strangers need some sort of assistance. This may mean putting our MS on the back burner (if possible at that moment), so we can try to focus on others’ needs.

While it was sad that my brother was going to be out of commission for nearly 21 days, I was grateful that he reached out to Dan and me when he needed help. After all, Steve helped me when I still lived with him and my parents after I was diagnosed with MS. And more than once he came to our rescue when Dan got sick or hurt his back.

While Dan and I were not able to Zumba, having the opportunity to help Steve and take care of Teddy was a blessing for all of us. In addition to giving Steve the peace of mind to focus on himself as he recovered, it was good to be there for him and good for my self-confidence.

This experience reminded me that I still have so much to offer in spite of MS. And that is something to dance about!