Feeling Like an Inconvenience
During a past appointment with a neurologist, I received great news that everything was stable. Our visit was going well, and just as we were wrapping up, the doctor mentioned the opportunity to do one more test in the office to confirm my health status.
Deciding whether to do one more test
It was the week before Christmas, when everyone’s schedules were full. It was the end of the day, and I knew that by staying for this test, my husband and I would hit rush hour traffic traveling from the hospital in Philadelphia to our home in New Jersey. I also knew that it would extend the time that I was away from my young daughter that day.
Nothing about this test was convenient. It put a time constraint on me, my family, and even the doctor’s office. It wasn’t a scheduled test; the doctor had to make a special call to "squeeze me in" before the end of the day.
And yet, I wanted to have the test done. I wanted as much information as possible about the current status of my health so that I knew how to best manage my MS. As someone who hates the idea of inconveniencing someone else, especially my family, this was extremely uncomfortable for me. Yet I knew in my heart it was the right decision and if I didn’t make it right then, I would be regretful and even resentful afterward.
This or That
Which decision would you be more likely to make in this situation?
Standing up for what I needed
So, I didn’t ask for permission, I didn’t ask for approval – I told the doctor that I wanted to have the test done. As uncomfortable as it was, it also felt good to stand up for what I wanted and needed.
My husband and I had to go back to the waiting room, where we had previously been waiting to talk to the doctor. It felt like we were back at square one . . . just later in the day. Eventually I was called back, the test was performed, and we were back on our way home again.
I knew everyone was feeling the strain of the extra time my appointment took that day, but I could also sense that they were glad that I received the care I needed.
This or That
Do you feel comfortable standing up for what you need with your medical team?
It's important to speak up for ourselves
Too often we are so caught up in the busyness of the day that it’s hard to stop and recognize the things that are truly deserving of our time and attention. So, while you may experience an unspoken (or spoken) tension that life with MS can place on your loved ones, remember that they love you and they want you to receive the care you need to get better.
I’m sharing this experience because I would encourage you (and remind myself) that we did not choose to have MS. We didn’t do anything to bring it on. Yet we’re living with it. Yes, it adds an extra weight to our lives and the lives of our loved ones, but you can and should speak up for what you need – whether that’s a longer stay at your doctor’s appointment, help around the house, or emotional support.
It's okay to receive the very care that you would gladly extend to others.
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