Mylar Balloons and MS Lessons Learned By Not Kissing My Husband

Three tethered mylar balloons still gracefully float above our dining room table celebrating a happy birthday. They are from Dan’s birthday celebration a few weeks ago, and it was then that I was reminded that sometimes the best gifts are free.

Because on his birthday, I gave Dan a kiss.

Unable to share a kiss with my husband

Before that day, it had been more than three whole weeks without kissing Dan. No, he was not in the proverbial dog house or anything like that. And my trigeminal neuralgia was not flaring up either. But we were not able to share the simplest purest expression of love between a couple: a kiss.

At the beginning of September, I started to feel tired and kind of rundown. This was not anything to be too concerned about considering my life with MS. I have learned to live with fatigue. However, I noticed a cold sore on my top lip on Labor Day.

Still no big deal, right?

Eating became downright painful

Well, that’s what I thought until eating became downright painful. It felt like I was eating food either laced with sharp objects poking at the roof of my mouth or like every sandwich or pizza was burnt to an uncomfortable crunchy crisp. I remember asking Dan if he had noticed the same thing, but he hadn’t.

When my usually healthy gums started to bleed as I was flossing after lunch on a Tuesday afternoon, it occurred to me that maybe I should call my doctor or dentist. I called them both, and while my primary doctor had no immediate openings, he prescribed an oral rinse to help with the pain. Fortunately, my dentist could see me the end of that week.

Eight large sores inside my mouth

Friday finally came and Emma, the dental hygienist, saw exactly why I was so uncomfortable. With her handy-dandy little dental camera, she discovered at least eight (after eight, she stopped counting) large sores inside my mouth. Ewww! Gross, but strangely fascinating.

I was so anxious to hear what my dentist had to say. Because certainly, he would know, right? Oh silly me! After ruling out an allergic reaction to either food, medicine or a change in toothpaste or detergent, he chalked it up to my wonky immune system.

Is blaming MS the easy way out?

Really? That’s it? Isn’t blaming something related to my multiple sclerosis taking the easy way out?

Easy way or not, he prescribed the same oral rinse as my primary doctor did. Consistency is good, right? It’s like the two doctors I trust were seeing (or not seeing) the same thing and concluded this thick and chalky mouth-numbing rinse would do something to help me.

And so I rinsed. And rinsed. Four times each day. My sores started clearing up after the fourth day, and I slowly transitioned from a soft-bristled toothbrush to my fully charged dentist-approved electric model.

Able to give my husband kiss

Two weeks later my rinse was finished and so were my mouth issues. Then, on September 24, I gave my husband a kiss on his birthday.

On the surface, this seems like such a simple story: Something caused something to break out in my mouth, the doctors prescribed something and I couldn’t kiss my husband for 20-something days.

Some things are greater than they seem.

Two very important MS life lessons

It was through these turns of events and three tethered mylar balloons that I was reminded of two very important lessons of my life as a person living with MS:

1. For as much as I can’t be quick to blame MS for all of my health issues, I need to be vigilant in not allowing my doctors to do the same thing when treating me and simply chalking health concerns up to my wonky immune system.
2. Showing signs of affection are fundamental in keeping the spark alive in MS relationships. Without those tender moments, my relationship with Dan would become more of him being my caregiver and less of him being my husband. I have had several caregivers over the years, but I only have one husband.