Let's Address The Elephant in the Room-Depression and MS

By Calie Wyatt

4 min read

I want to write about something that I feel is sadly, often swept under the rug and left to go unnoticed. It’s that giant elephant in the room that is often present, but most seem to look right past it. That something is depression. This is an issue I have dealt with the majority of my life. It is something that’s for some reason is often looked down upon and misconstrued. But, it’s something more people than we realize struggle with too. Depression is fairly common but still widely misunderstood and stigmatized. This stigma associated with depression can cause feelings of shame and embarrassment. But, we shouldn’t feel that way. I believe if less people were affected by the stigma associated with MS than more people would be open to talk about it and willing to get help.

Depression is more common than you think

Did you know that depression in its various forms is one of the most common symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis? Studies have even suggested that clinical depression (the most severe form) is more frequent in people with MS. It is also suggested that inflammation is a contributing factor to depression in conditions like MS. Nationalmssociety.org says that depression should be treated with the same diligence of any other MS symptom. It is important to note these other things they mentioned about depression as well:

Depression can occur in any person with MS at any time in the course of the disease. People with MS who are more severely disabled are NOT necessarily more likely to be depressed.
Depression does not indicate weakness of character and should not be considered something shameful that needs to be hidden.
A person cannot control or prevent depression with willpower or determination.

Depression can happen at any time

I want to touch on each one of these points. The first being that depression can occur in any person with MS at any time-Depression, unfortunately just happens. It doesn’t matter if your symptoms are less severe like mine or more severe and cause disability. Like I said earlier, depression is something I have dealt with since before I was even diagnosed. I remember vividly the days of darkness and depression in my youth. It was like this black shadow that hung over my head, and no matter what I couldn’t shake it. It’s something that quietly works itself into our lives. Symptoms creep up slowly, and before you realize it, you’ve forgotten what it’s like to feel good. It seems to shut down feelings of hope and fills you with despair. The very thought that your life may continue on in this pit of hopelessness is overwhelming and disheartening to say the least. Many people who deal with depression will do whatever they can to escape this reality. Whether it’s self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, sleeping the day away or doing everything to avoid contact with the outside world, people take these chances hoping to find a way out. Some even resort to suicide, which is terribly frightening, but unfortunately it’s the hard truth. Depression isn’t an easy pill to swallow and that needs to be recognized.

It's not a weakness

The second point is extremely important. Depression does not at all indicate weakness of character. It is not something that you should be ashamed of and hide. Thankfully, depression is very treatable. It is something that needs to be recognized and addressed so that you can find the right help for you. Please, please talk to someone if you’re feeling depressed. My days with depression turned into years with depression. I felt hopeless and indeed embarrassed. I did not want others knowing that this darkness was within me, because I feared others would look down upon me or judge me. Don’t make the same mistake I did. It is not uncommon for people in the throes of MS to focus primarily on physical health and forget their emotional health and well-being. Learning how to cope with all aspects of MS, including your emotional health is huge. There are so many coping strategies out there that can help you rediscover the daily pleasures and wonderful things about life.

As much as we all can try, we cannot control or prevent depression by mere willpower and determination. Depression just happens, and it’s not always something you can help or even prevent. Like I mentioned in the last point, finding coping strategies to help break through the darkness is vital for your overall emotional well-being. Do whatever you have to do, whether it’s exercising, writing out your feelings, or reaching out to a support group-it’s important that you be proactive in managing your overall health. Personally, I find breathing exercises and activities such as yoga help me connect with my emotional self the best. It helps me learn to breathe through everything that life with MS throws me, good and bad. And, most importantly, reach out to someone. Depression is NOT a battle you can or want to face alone.

Depression can be treated

There are many treatments out there proven to help battle depression. While talking to someone about your depression can often help, sometimes a more aggressive form of treatment like psychotherapy and/or taking antidepressants are needed to sufficiently treat the condition and prevent you from spiraling into a deeper depression. I have been on antidepressants since I was diagnosed almost 13 years ago. While I didn’t like having to rely on medication to balance and regulate my emotions, I have found that it’s absolutely necessary in order for me to live a happy and normal life. Taking medication for a disease is not something looked down upon, so taking steps like asking your doctor about antidepressants or other forms of treatment shouldn’t be either.

I hope in writing this article that it can shed a light on the seriousness of depression, and maybe even diminish some of the stigma and negativity associated with it. It is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and there are SO many people out there ready to help! If you are currently suffering with depression, or know someone that is, please consider talking to your doctor about finding the best help for you!

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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capitolcarol Member
I can't imagine talking to either doctor about my having trouble with depression. Sometimes, I feel so alone and it's hard to keep from crying.
f5hwo4 Member
Depression is so mysterious, I have a friend that has severe bipolar depression, she usually has to get electroshock therapy every year. She tells me that there is a voice in her head that tells her to end it all. She is happy with her life, loves her husband and has a bunch of grand babies. She can't figure why this voice keeps telling her to kill herself. She doesn't mind getting the treatment, she has some memory loss for awhile, she knows it is keeping her alive. I think the stigma of depression is a large part of the problem. My husbands boss kept disappearing for weeks at a time. He was the owners son and young so everyone thought he was going to drug rehab. It turned out he had depression and he killed himself at a specialty clinic. I think if he could of share with the people he worked with what he was going through it might of helped. Sharing on the MS forums makes a huge difference in my life. Potter
soulsorry Member
I have MS , Lupus and kidney failure. I lost my husband very suddenly to a brain aneuresym just recently and cannot afford a therapist. I feel so stuck; everything in our house seems to be falling apart as well as me. I need help but do not know where to find it. I cannot even find a MS support group in my area. My friends think I am so strong and I look good which doesn't help. I need to talk but my hands hurt so badly it is hard to type enough to explain. My neuro retired so I'm trying to find a new one closer by-I was going to the Tx. medical Center when my husband was here and could drive me. I'm unable to drive that far and in that traffic now due to horrible anxiety attacks , especially when getting ready to go some where. Does anyone have any suggestions?
mandi83 Member
Perfect article! I can relate to this lifelong battle with depression (which switches to anxiety when ever!) Anyhow, I had it before diagnosis, and continue with it even after, but it remains untreated due to financial difficulties ( I was diagnosed before I was able to set myself up with my career). It is sites like these that I find my therapy, and try to share it with others on my stronger days.
javclv Member
I've been depressed for years but it's gotten do bad I'm embarrassed to even leave the house I feel so bad that if I go suck it up and go to church to see my granddaughter or anywhere people's always notice something and there always asking me if I'm okay I have trouble getting around good but people even ask me when I had my stroke so then I get so embarssed I usually don't go anywhere
3ybgf7 Member
I have taken an Antidepressant for years! There is no shame in needing a little help to keep my mind in balance. I talk to therapists when things get overwhelming. Getting help is important in order to live a fulfilling life!
CommunityMember7e94fd Member
Depression should be considered completely normal for a person with MS. MS steals your life. Slowly, painfully. It takes your job, your money, your fake “friends”, your ability to help others, often your ability to help yourself. It very difficult to get diagnosed. Doctors drive you crazy. I had to go blind in one eye b4 I was believed. My family resented my falling asleep in movies, and moving cares… which I still do. We lose our ability to have some of our hobbies or to travel. And sex, forget about it. We lose bladder control or other bodily functions. That is not sexy. And sometimes we feel nothing anyway. We sound stupid bc we can lose our train of thought, or have a stutter, or a word stuck right there on the edge of our brain. And we walk around drunk, walking into walls, hitting our limbs, knocking over drinks. People , even family, always assume the worst and do not believe us when we say we are not taking extra medications. I take less medication. If I took the amount prescribed I’d be drooling mess. I’d probably be much happier, but I’d be high as a kite. Doesn’t seem to matter either way when you are stuck inside 100 degree weather dammed for doing something and dammed for doing nothing. 80% of the time, I’m fine with this hell on earth, this slow death by degrees. But 20% of the time, when my family is really being mean and resentful, I wish I could end it all and be done with this mortal coil. MS Sucks, “anyone who says ants any different is selling you something.”
1. Erin Rush Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="CommunityMember7e94fd" user-id="8317643"/>, I appreciate your honest, raw contribution to this conversation. Living with MS is freaking hard. And Depression makes it even harder. I'm not going to try to ease your very real and valid feelings with platitudes and toxic positivity. But, I will say that your life matters and your experiences matter. And this community understands the challenges of living with MS (and, yes, we even have frequent discussions on the pleasures and perils of sex when you have MS). You are not alone here. And, when your family is being especially harsh, please know this is a place where you can come and be understood. Where you don't have to explain yourself or your symptoms. Where you don't have to pretend to be doing fine for the sake of others. I know it's not much, but it's something. And, if you need to tell uncaring, ignorant people in your life to eff off (even if it's only in your head), go ahead and do it. They don't know what you are going through. Gentle Hugs, Erin, Team Member.