Poking Myself In The Eyes
Last updated: December 2021
One day my mom called me a girly girl. In response, I swiveled my head and asked her exactly what she was talking about. To me, a girly girl was an adjective reserved for females who were fragile. They were all about the stereotypical feminine pursuits with no desire to get their hands dirty or have a hair out of place.
This was a description that did not apply to me. So instead of setting her straight, I actually asked what she meant. "Oh, you and your makeup and stuff. That's all.", she said. Oof! Here I was ready to defend my anti-girly-girl status and she had the nerve to describe me accurately.
I do have a fascination for cosmetics, perfumes, and all things skincare. I have three beauty box subscriptions and an embarrassing amount of products for a person who is not an influencer. I have not been wearing much makeup lately, but I have noticed a problem. Arm drops and jerks are more prevalent than last year and the year before.
An increase in my MS arm symptoms
As I moved my hand close in towards my eyes, I poked myself. The imperceptible jerk of my arm shoved the mascara wand into my left eye. It was nothing to go to the hospital for. It was nothing I had not done before. The difference this time is that it was not bad judgment or a lack of spatial awareness.
I poked myself in the eye because of my multiple sclerosis. The jerk was part of the increase in my MS arm symptoms. Putting on mascara, or doing any makeup, reminds me that my arms are not happy with me. The throbbing pain at the end of some days is excruciating.
That is a big reminder that I have this chronic illness. It is a trumpet that blares the multiple sclerosis tune. The tiny arm drops are like piccolos in that way.
Dropping it like its hot
As much as I try to control them, the miniature jerks have become part of my routine. They happen when my arms are tucked up next to me. I am looking in the mirror piling it on. Eyeshadow. Drop. Eyeliner. Drop. Mascara. Drop. Drop. And extra drop for good measure.
The black mark on my cheek from Pat's FetishEyes is a reminder of the streak that is out of place. The close-in work becomes a place to erase the mistakes caused by MS. Shakiness seems to be coming fast.
While I have not experienced serious debilitation in my arms, I know I want to be ready as that time comes.
Tips to keep the hands and arms steady
In the planning for an uncertain future, I researched what products might be available to help me continue my makeup passion while keeping my hands and arms steady. Luckily, I am not alone in this cause and every day there are new ways to help me cope.
- Use a rubber band to hold BeautyBlenders
- 10X mirrors can help those with vision issues to see more clearly and in detail.
- Rubber tubing or pencil grips can be fit onto products that have slimmer tubes or caps.
- Universal ring holders
At this point, Guide Beauty is the brand geared for those with disabilities. With innovative packaging and thoughtful tools, this company is making a mark on the cosmetics world.
Do not give up, adapt.
In my case, I have learned to prop up my arms using one another for strength. I have changed the order in which I apply my makeup. My close-up work is done first before I might experience arm fatigue. That means eyes are front and center, a change from my old routine.
I have also changed some products. Tiny pencils are out. Liquid liners with big caps or fat pencils are in. As time goes on and I continue to be a cosmetic girly girl, I take happiness in that I will not have to stop enjoying the art of makeup. MS cannot take that from me.
Do you ever have moments where you question your self worth because of your MS?