MS: That Mean, Ugly Monster You Must Learn To Deal With
Last updated: May 2023
Most of us have those friends or family members that are the difficult ones. They’re bullies. They’re irritating and hard to be around. Sometimes they’re rude and ugly for absolutely no reason, and you just can’t understand what you did to make them be so hateful. It is people like these that you really would rather not associate yourself with, but you have to learn to deal with them because you know they’re going to be around for life. Dealing with people like this is no easy task, and life with MS isn’t any different.
I have an ugly, mean person strapped to my back
My days with MS can all too often feel like I have an ugly, mean person strapped to my back. It feeds me lies telling me I’m not good enough, not capable enough, and not strong enough. I can wake up feeling my best, but just like a bully, here comes MS saying today isn’t going to be my day. It spews things like fatigue, weakness, and pain my way. And, some days, no matter how well I’ve been doing taking care of myself, it sneaks up and astonishes me with new symptoms. It’s rude and rears its ugly head at me for no reason, letting me know that I’m not in control of my body the way that the MS is.
When we have friends or family members that treat us badly, there is usually something holding you back from just telling them goodbye or walking away from the negative aspects of the relationship. When strangers are difficult or rude, it’s easy to walk away and never give them a second thought. However, with family or family friends it’s not so simple. Sometimes we love and care about their significant others (or someone else), so we feel like we have to be kind to them in return. And, friends, that is hard work! Multiple sclerosis for me, is just like that difficult person in our life we can’t get rid of. It’s always there, and unfortunately, no matter how hard you try you can’t get away from it. So, in turn, you have to learn to deal with it.
Each day can be different
Some days are easier than others, and you don't have to deal with the uglier aspects. The symptoms seem absent, so you feel good, maybe even great! Then there are those days where the bad symptoms suddenly hit you without warning, and you don’t understand where they came from. It’s unpredictable, just like the bully in your family. Sometimes it’s easier to deal with others, but the days that it’s harder it makes the reality of it hurt a little bit more.
Like learning to deal with a horrible person, I have learned that I can sink to their level and be a bully back, or I can choose to be the bigger person and kill them with kindness. With my MS, I like to think I can try and do the same. I can choose to be negative and mad at others about it, or I can choose to take the good days as they come and fight against the bad. Most days, thankfully, I choose the latter.
Coping with MS symptoms on bad days
Don’t get me wrong, I have my bad days with MS. Just like I want to snap and be rude back to the difficult people in my life, I want to be angry about having MS. I want to mope and pout and show the world how angry I am that I have to deal with this! I’ve learned both through bullies and my MS, though. Sinking to that level isn’t worth it for me. I want to be the bigger person in all situations, even my bad days with MS. There are days I’m going to be weak and I’m going to be mad, but I have to rise above that and remember all of the good.
Whether it’s terrible people or terrible circumstances, thankfully we have the power to choose how we deal with them….and I choose to kill them with kindness. Well, except for MS. If I had a choice in that aspect, I would just kill the disease off for us all. BUT, I do like to think I choose to face it head on, strong and brave every single day.
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