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MS-That Mean, Ugly Monster You Must Learn To Deal With

MS: That Mean, Ugly Monster You Must Learn To Deal With

Most of us have those family friends or family members that are the difficult ones. They’re bullies. They’re irritating and hard to be around. Sometimes they’re rude and ugly for absolutely no reason, and you just can’t understand what you did to make them be so hateful. It is people like these that you really would rather not associate yourself with, but you have to learn to deal with them because you know they’re going to be around for life. Dealing with people like this is no easy task, and life with MS isn’t any different.

I have an ugly, mean person strapped to my back

My days with MS can all too often feel like I have an ugly, mean person strapped to my back. It feeds me lies telling me I’m not good enough, not capable enough, and not strong enough. I can wake up feeling my best, but just like a bully, here comes MS saying today isn’t going to be my day. It spews things like fatigue, weakness, and pain my way. And, some days, no matter how well I’ve been doing taking care of myself, it sneaks up and astonishes me with new symptoms. It’s rude and rears its ugly head at me for no reason, letting me know that I’m not in control of my body the way that the MS is. When we have friends or family members that treat us badly, there is usually something holding you back from just telling them goodbye or walking away from the negative aspects of the relationship. When strangers are difficult or rude, it’s easy to walk away and never give them a second thought. However, with family or family friends it’s not so simple. Sometimes we love and care about their significant others (or someone else) so we feel like we have to be kind to them in return. And, friends, that is hard work! Multiple Sclerosis for me, is just like that difficult person in our life we can’t get rid of. It’s always there, and unfortunately no matter how hard you try you can’t get away from it. So, in turn, you have to learn to deal with it. Some days are easier than other and you don’t have to deal with the uglier aspects. The symptoms seem absent, so you feel good, maybe even great! Then there are those days where the bad symptoms suddenly hit you without warning, and you don’t understand where they came from. It’s unpredictable, just like the bully in your family. Sometimes it’s easier to deal with others, but the days that it’s harder it makes the reality of it hurt a little bit more. Like learning to deal with a horrible person, I have learned that I can sink to their level and be a bully back, or I can choose to be the bigger person and kill them with kindness. With my MS, I like to think I can try and do the same. I can choose to be negative and mad at others about it, or I can choose to take the good days as they come and fight against the bad. Most days, thankfully, I choose the latter.

Don’t get me wrong, I have my bad days with MS

Don’t get me wrong, I have my bad days with MS. Just like I want to snap and be rude back to the difficult people in my life, I want to be angry about having MS. I want to mope and pout and show the world how angry I am that I have to deal with this! I’ve learned both through bullies and my MS, though. Sinking to that level isn’t worth it for me. I want to be the bigger person in all situations, even my bad days with MS. There are days I’m going to be weak and I’m going to be mad, but I have to rise above that and remember all of the good. Whether it’s terrible people or terrible circumstances, thankfully we have the power to choose how we deal with them….and I choose to kill them with kindness. Well, except for MS, if I had a choice in that aspect, I would just kill the disease off for us all. BUT, I do like to think I choose to face it head on, strong and brave every single day.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • ss46sh
    11 months ago

    Hey Calie
    I have five grandchildren now and I will be trying to be active in their lives for as long as i can. The oldest is just six so it will definately be a challenge. Keep up the good fight and be MS strong

  • ss46sh
    11 months ago

    Hi Calie
    Until I was diagnosed with MS I was an active athlete since my first days of swimming on a swim team at the age of seven. For the next twenty seven years I competed in a variety of sports. The thought of losing at any competition pushed me to try harder. This competitive spirit has served me well with my MS. When I have mornings of increased pain i push through to do my activity. I have five grandchildren and I want to be able to be active with them. It is much more difficult than when my four children were young but some of the difficulty is age related. all I can say is be as positive as you can be even on the bad days. MS is a tough opponent. I intend to continue my lifelong battle against a tough but not unbeatable opponent MS.

  • Calie Wyatt moderator author
    11 months ago

    Hi @ss46sh,

    Thank you so much for reading and commenting!! I too thrive on pushing myself and positivity. I absolutely love your last sentence, I intend to do the same! May we continue fighting this battle together!

    Wishing you the best,


  • potter
    3 years ago

    My sister in-law is the crazy mean monster on my back. She has said mean things to me for the last 43 years, thrown away all of my X mass gifts. She has never bought me one has her husband do it. My mother in-law who is 94 insists on family dinners every month, she wants us to be friends before she dies. Not going to happen. Last time I spoke to her she asked me what we had done lately. I told her we finally got around to installing a 5×6 foot mural that I had made a couple of years ago on a wall in our patio. She turned to me and said “You don’t really care about decreasing the value of your house do you.” I told her no we didn’t it’s our sons problem when we die. I am always shocked when she says things like that, I should of said at least we don’t decorate our house like a mortuary like you do. I try to stay away from her, she has always been fond of my son and it still makes my skin crawl when she touches him. She had a baby after they had been married a couple of years and gave him up for adoption. She didn’t want a baby to ruin their life. They kept this a secret for almost 40 years until the boy found them. You can’t kill her with kindness she would just chew it up and spit it into your face. Potter

  • sharonmere
    3 years ago

    I found this article to be spot on true….This is exactly how I deal wth BOTH pains in my neck, and it works works for me! Many in my family do not understand, but they don’t live my truth! Thank you for this illuminating article.

    3 years ago


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