The Effect of MS: Me vs Dog
“You don’t get MS until you get MS” is a common quote among people who live with the disease. The difference between our appearance and our abilities (as well as how we feel inside) often doesn’t match up, making it difficult for people to really grasp what our lives are like. As I am ever trying to explain the impact multiple sclerosis has on me, I thought I’d try a new example today by talking about the struggles I have as a 44-year-old man caring for my 16-year-old dog.
A little about me
As mentioned, I’m 44 and have been diagnosed with MS longer than I wasn’t, so my body has some damage. To look at me though, you’d have no idea. I look like any other relatively healthy person. Most of the time I walk unassisted (though I should probably use my cane more often). I even get in regular exercise. I do have issues common among those with MS.
I can walk, but I fall fairly often, as my legs don’t always do what I want them to do. I also live with some terrible nerve pain, primarily in my legs and upper arms. My right side frequently goes numb. I also get spasms and extreme tightness in my legs. I suffer from cognitive problems like short-term memory loss and difficulty problem-solving. Like many with MS, I also have to deal with some severe fatigue. Also, if I get too warm, my vision becomes blurry and my speech becomes slurred. I could go on, but you get the point.
My dog, Ferdinand
I’ve discussed my senior rescue dachshund Ferdinand in the past. He is, without a doubt, my greatest hero. He is 16 years old. I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage that 1 human year equals 7 dog years, which would make him the equivalent of about 112 years old. They say that the whole 1-equals-7 thing isn’t entirely accurate, but still, you get the picture. He is still at the very maximum age that most dogs live.
He has his share of health issues as well. He is blind in one eye, has one tooth, a hole in his face, damage to the inside of his mouth, bites out of his ears, and his back legs aren’t working like they once did. He had a rough life before he was rescued and has some wear and tear from that.
Our bond
He and I have both been through a lot in our lives, which is one reason he is so important to me. Our respective damages create a bond that I don’t really have with others. He helps me as much as I help him, at least that’s how it feels. For a disabled person like me, a lot of times he’s my one reason for waking up each day. I live a lonely and very solitary life, and he is often the reason I keep going.
MS has aged me over time
While neither of us is in top form, lately, his abilities have been outshining my own. This has really made me take stock of what MS has done to my body. We have both lost a step over our five years together, but it seems I’ve lost a few more. I’m now at a point where my fatigue makes it difficult to keep up with his energy levels (and this is an old dog who sleeps a lot). I also see him and realize, that despite our differing ages, I can tell he feels much younger than I do. He moves much better than me too. I struggle to get up and down and to walk far without falling. There are many times where is he clearly more alert than me too, and he’s become the one to remind me of various duties I have. Lately, I’m having trouble keeping up with the old guy which concerns me. I’m 44, I shouldn’t feel this old. I should be caring more for him, not vice versa.
It may seem silly to compare myself to a dog, but remember, this is who I am with most of the time. For much of our time together, I was clearly the one with the most energy. In just a few short years, it seems my body is much worse for the wear. So if you want to know what living with MS is like for me, I just turned 44 and I am absolutely struggling to keep pace with a 16-year-old dog. I think that is pretty descriptive of what MS has done to me over the years.
Thanks so much for reading and feel free to share! As always, I would love to hear about your experiences in the comments below!
Devin
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