The Day the Poltergeist Moved In, Set Up Shop, and Wielded a Nightmare: Part 1
I was an athlete and knew how to grind through a lot of pain during training. When I began to experience all these insane abnormalities and rapid decline in body function, I figured it was just more tough hurdles that I needed to ‘rub some dirt on’ to get over.
However, nothing that I had ever experienced in life could have prepared me physically, emotionally, nor mentally for the day the MS poltergeist moved in without my consent, set up shop, wielding a nightmare of terrifying and paranormal destruction in me that hasn’t stopped for years.
My quick onset MS experience
It was February 2014, a month after my diagnosis of MS. It was a very snowy winter so when my legs stopped working, I begun to use crutches in order to swing my lower body forward, and use the crutches as legs. It didn’t take long before my arms and shoulders gave out, so I began to crawl on the ground. My brain was like ‘milk toast’. I was in extreme pain everywhere and didn’t even know if I still had a body attached to my neck. My dominant left hand and arm had a mind of its own, taking off in random directions like a buzzing fly, making eating a challenge.
Extreme and terrifying full-body spasms
It wasn’t until the poltergeist unleashed its fury with the Exorcist-like, full-body spasms that my best friend hauled me to the ER. The spasms would attack a group of muscles like a lightning bolt, contracting them and I’d scream in agony. It would release, then snap up another grouping of muscles. Each lash of its whip elicited ever-increasing terror and screaming from my lips. My back flexors were next, contorting my torso into extension, resulting in my head slamming against the wall. At one point I was ejected off the bed to the floor.
Support and sympathy
There were a lot of people in the ER that day, many of whom I’d known for years, who saw what was happening to me. No one – not even the medical professionals - had ever seen anything like it in their lives. My best friend was beside me during those long hours, gently stroking my tear-soaked hair and face while the docs tried to stabilize me. He was quietly sobbing himself, rocking in silent agony for me. This went on for hours until I was eventually taken by ambulance down to the big city for further treatments, where I stayed for weeks.
Aggressive, in every sense of the word
I have been told I have a rare, aggressive type of MS. I have multiple lesions in my brain, however, it’s the extensive lesions in my C-spine (neck) that cause me the greatest disability - body dysfunction and hideous types of pain. This explains most of the science portion for the symptoms, however, it never felt like enough data for me to fully compute how this monster unraveled my body, my sense of self, and my life in such a short period.
No luck with immunotherapy
I have been treated with all the strongest (and best) immunotherapies available, yet even these have eluded the anger of this beast. My neurologist has told me my body reacts unlike anyone else with MS - even though everyone’s disease is so different - and there is nothing more they can do for me.
I'm still fighting
I feel hopeless, because it is. Does this mean I stop trying to carve out a niche somewhere, in some unforeseen corner that the disease hasn’t crushed? No way! I am still trying my best to fight off the poltergeist, to be my best, and still pushing my limits like the obsessed athlete I once was.
Do you live with any comorbidities aside from MS?