The Real Meaning of Relaxation

By Calie Wyatt

3 min read

The dictionary defines relaxation as "the state of being free from tension and anxiety."

What is true relaxation?

Typically, relaxation is lying around and doing whatever you love most just because you can. It can mean getting a massage or going to the nail salon. It can be reading or playing video games or listening to music. The list goes on. We all have our own perfect definition of relaxation. Mine would be laying in my bed without interruption and reading my favorite book or watching my favorite show. I might even go the extra mile and have my favorite drink and snack by my side. Relaxation is peaceful. It's a positive state of mind that one can go to.

Relaxing versus resting with MS

However, with MS, it's not always that simple. The other night I had gotten to bed early, and as I lay there, I had a realization. I realized that sometimes, I relax just because I want to. So many times, I crawl into bed from extreme fatigue or pain or because I feel unwell. As I lay in bed that night, I was reminded of what it feels like to lay down and relax, not because of necessity, but because I enjoy it. I had somehow convinced myself that my usual "relaxation" was actually relaxing. Instead, it was giving my body time to rest and recoup until I had to get up again.

Relaxing and resting can both be beautiful things. They're both necessary and healthy parts of life. However, they've become things I've forgotten to truly enjoy. On the nights where I relax just because I can, it's as if everything else melts away. MS, my worries, my fears, my never-ending to-do list.

Soaking in the peace

As I lay in bed, the stillness washes over my body, a state of complete, relaxed bliss. My mind is always running a thousand miles a minute. Still, I'm feeling too peaceful to worry about what needs to be done in this state of relaxation. I'm too comfortable to get up. It's not worth losing this blissful moment. With MS, there are many days we lay around because we have to. We cannot find the strength or energy to get up unless needed. This wasn't the kind of moment where I didn't get up because I couldn't. It was because I didn't want to. Knowing that if I did want to get up, I had the energy to do so, but I was too happy and content to want to. The little things like this I often overlook and take for granted.

The benefit of the choice

It's invigorating to have this notion. Just the thought of relaxing for fun. To know, "I CAN if I want to." I feel as though nothing limits me in those moments, not even MS. I love the feeling of my body sinking into the bed without being too fatigued to actually enjoy it. To enjoy being still without feeling like I have to go to sleep at that moment. To enjoy staying up later than average to binge-watch Netflix just for the heck of it. It's the freedom from worrying about how the fatigue might wreak havoc on tomorrow and instead just enjoying the feeling of normalcy for a moment.

The joy in relaxing

I forgot what it was like for a while. It was such an eye-opening reminder that relaxing is supposed to be enjoyable; because you want to, not because you have to. Knowing you can enjoy it without wishing you could find the strength to get up and get going. To continue pushing through the MS symptoms that plague our bodies. These moments of true relaxation don't often happen lately, but I'm reminded to soak in every last drop when they do.

What is your experience?

I genuinely hope for feelings of true relaxation and rest for you all. May we all have more time for relaxation due to enjoyment instead of bad MS days. Do you ever have moments where you relax just because you want to? Have you forgotten what it's like like I did? I would love to hear your thoughts and favorite things to do while you relax and enjoy genuine moments of peace.

Here's to relaxing days ahead, and cherishing every moment!

XOXO,

Calie

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The MultipleSclerosis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Therry Neilsen Moderator & Contributor
Dearest Calie, what a gift you have! You are so good at articulating the issues we struggle with , and giving them the most generous spin you possibly can. I'm sitting here reading this and thinking about your four young children and wondering how in the world you can find the time to CHOOSE to relax. But of course you can! We all can. It was my turn to make dinner tonight, and I had a workout session from 5 to 6 pm. And I just sat around for almost two hours, recruiting my strength to get up and make the dinner. That two hours was LOVELY. I chose to sit and drink water and play a silly game on my phone, but I waited until I got my breath back and had relaxed enough to recruit the muscles and coordination needed to stand up and hit the cutting board and run down the ingredients and the spices and microplane the garlic! You are absolutely right. our relaxation can be the best gift we give ourselves. Thank you again for putting your generous thoughts into such beguiling words. it is an honor and a pleasure to be your teammate!
1. Calie Wyatt Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Therry Neilsen" user-id="4095618"/> you are so kind! Thank you for the encouragement and uplifting words!! I’m so glad you’ve found ways you can relax as well! It’s a true honor and pleasure to be your teammate as well!! ❤️
2. CommunityMembere0f527 Member
 <inline-mention username="Calie Wyatt" user-id="3967947"/> Calie I was able to get some much needed rest last night I really loved your words on relaxing. You definitely have a way to express what we all try to do relax. Thank you Calie
AshliFaith Member
My 2 most favorite types of relaxation techniques is: #1:Rockhounding & #2:Being at Gulf Shores/Orange Beach, Alabama. Rockhounding has been in me my entire life! I guess I inherited it from my Grandma because she'd say: "If it's glittering at you & it can fit in your pocket, then pick it up & take it home!" Then there's the gulf🤗 That's the place I've been known to escape to from time to time. 
1. Erin Rush Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="AshliFaith" user-id="4175075"/>, I love the term 'rockhounding'! I have never heard it before, but that's what I'm gonna call it from now on. And the gulf sounds like a lovely place to relax (though I've never been there). Best, Erin, <a href='http://MultipleSclerosis.net' target='_blank'>MultipleSclerosis.net</a> Team member. 
2. Calie Wyatt Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="AshliFaith" user-id="4175075"/> I’ve never heard of rockhounding, sounds like a blast!! And I’ve always wanted to go to Gulf Shores, it’s on the top of my list!! So glad you have such a great place to escape. Thank you so much for reading and sharing! 🥰
AshliFaith Member
Well goodness gracious, y'all! This is a first for me!! There's actually places that's been set aside & they're called "Rockhounding areas"😊 In southwestern Arkansas there's a diamond mine & the only rule is a good rule! Whatever you find, you can keep all you want! It's called: "Finders Keepers"🤗👍 Pretty degum awesome, huh?!? 
1. Calie Wyatt Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="AshliFaith" user-id="4175075"/> how amazing is that?! I would love to try that some time!!
f5hwo4 Member
I often will stretch out on my bed to relax in fact I did it this afternoon. I had such a stressful morning. We were expecting the delivery of a new refrigerator at 2.00, they called us and said they were 5 minutes away at 10. We got the fridge empty just as they knocked on the door. They moved out our 6 month old, recalled, broken fridge away, while they are doing this my dog escapes. So I start looking for him barefooted, I coax him back with a treat and lock him in the bedroom. I decide to take a look at the new refrigerator, NO fridge in the kitchen. The installer tells me that our new one was broken, looks like it was dropped. We are expecting a new one tomorrow, had to pack everything in coolers. I am going to the store to buy ice, can't wait until tomorrow is over. Potter
1. Calie Wyatt Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="f5hwo4" user-id="3977349"/> I’m so sorry you had such a stressful day! Hoping the rest of the week goes smoothly! Stretching out on my bed when I have a moment is one of my favorite ways to relax too! Sending lots of warm thoughts and wishes your way! 😊
f5hwo4 Member
Got our new refrigerator today, has a small dent in it, took it anyways. We need to buy some plumbing parts to hook up the water line. The 6 month old line doesn't connect to new fittings. Can't fill it with food until it is back in it's cabinet. Universal fittings would make life a lot easier. I think I am going to need to rest today. Potter
1. Erin Rush Community Admin
 <inline-mention username="f5hwo4" user-id="3977349"/> (Potter), we just got a new fridge, too! Sorry about the line -- I hate when stuff like that happens. And, yes, universal fittings would be so nice! I say call it a day, but I hope you are able to enjoy your new fridge very soon! Best, Erin, <a href='http://MultipleSclerosis.net' target='_blank'>MultipleSclerosis.net</a> Team Member.
caninemom6142 Member
Relax? A rarity for me anymore. I'm too depressed, too worried, too much pain. The closest I come to relaxing now is when I go to bed, pick up the book I'm reading and read until I drop off to sleep for a little while. 
1. Beth Huffman Member
 @caninemm6142 We hear you! Relaxing doesn't come easy when you're battling this monster. How are you feeling today? Are you reading anything good these days? Sending positive thoughts and vibes your way 😀 -Beth (Team Member)
caninemom6142 Member
How am I feeling? Not good to say the least. Along with MS, both knees in bad shape now, one much worse than the other. Compression fractures in my spine. Neck pain. Jaw pain. Arthritis in my hands. I hate winter and it's a dreary, gray, cold 32° right now. How would YOU feel?
1. Lori Foster Member
 That is so much to contend with, <inline-mention username="caninemom6142" user-id="3991049"/>. Have you ever been referred to a rheumatologist? That is an awful lot of joint pain and damage. I wouldn't be surprised if you learned your arthritis is autoimmune. Have you gotten any help with your jaw pain? Do you think it is TMJ or trigeminal neuralgia? Here is an article from one of our advocates about trigeminal neuralgia : <a href='https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/trigeminal-neuralgia' target='_blank'>https://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/trigeminal-neuralgia</a>. While the author says there is no cure, you will see in the comments that some people have had success with gamma knife surgery or antidepressants, which can calm fired-up nerves. You mention depression and anxiety. Both can put a ton of stress on your body and make MS and joint symptoms far worse. Have you talked to you doctor about it or considered seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist? You deserve treatment for your mental health as much as for your physical health. Please know we are here for you whenever you need us. Thinking of you and sending loads of gentle hugs your way. - Lori (Team Member)
stuckey17 Member
It's a good article. There are days when I only rested because I had to. Fortunately reading and writing is restful for me. My wife was blessed to find a new refrigerator like our old one in Dallas. Of course, we had to settle for a used one previously because ours did not brake down on black Friday but months before.
f5hwo4 Member
Here we are in the middle of January of a new year and stuck at home. Tomorrow the high is suppose to be -3, I am enjoying the freeze in, my house is fairly clean and my studio is too cold to work in. I am spending my days relaxing, sprawled out in a recliner watching shows that I record and never get around to watching. Driving my husband crazy, he is a go go go person. I don't have to go go go again until I run out of groceries. Potter
1. Alene L. Brennan, RYT Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="f5hwo4" user-id="3977349"/> these temps have been SO cold this past week. You're smart to stay warm inside. (And that's brilliant to have some of your favorite shows recorded and ready for a rainy... or snowy day! I can never seem to find a good show when I sit down to watch TV, but that's a tangent that I'll spare you. 😀) It is important to take the time to relax and do it in a way that brings you joy. I'm glad to see that you're doing so. And I hope those groceries have lasted you until the cold weather broke! Best Alene, moderator 
2. Latoya.Juniel Moderator
 <inline-mention username="f5hwo4" user-id="3977349"/> I love staying in but my youngest daughter goes through a roller coaster having to stay put and just enjoy to peace that comes with staying inside and doing nothing. Getting food is the ONLY way I will come out in the cold haha. Stay warm and take care of yourself. Warmly, Latoya (Team Member)
Ali.K Member
Thanks SO MUCH for contributing and sharing this insightful description regarding Rest versus Relaxation . The" R&R" concept of "taking time off" has undermined what it is to truly RELAX. Even sleeping is not the same as relaxing. We HAVE to sleep; we CHOOSE to relax. Well written article. Alison K
1. Alene L. Brennan, RYT Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="Ali.K" user-id="4182852"/> I'm so glad to hear that this article resonated with you. I love your line about "we have to sleep, we choose to relax." They're all such great and important reminders. Thanks for being part of this community, this conversation and for your encouraging words! We're sending encouraging support right back to you. 😀 Best Alene, moderator
f5hwo4 Member
Last day of bad weather for a while, my dog slid down the steps this morning. Had one of those invisible ice storms last night. We went out for more groceries, had a 30 degree heat wave one day before another unexpected cold front moved in. I hope this is it on the extreme cold even my dog is depressed from being inside. He is too small to spend much time outside. Potter
1. Erin Rush Community Admin
 Awww, your poor pup, Potter (<inline-mention username="f5hwo4" user-id="3977349"/>). I suspect we don't live too far apart, as our weather is about the same 😉 . We're due for some ice tonight, then a big warm up. I do hope your dog is able to get out soon and burn off some energy. Best, Erin, MultipleSclerosis.net Team Member. 
2. Alene L. Brennan, RYT Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="f5hwo4" user-id="3977349"/> I'm sorry to hear about your pup! I hope that he heals quickly. Those invisible ice storms can be nasty and quite dangerous. Did you do okay getting around? I hope so! And yes, I agree, I'm ready for some sunshine so we can have some time outside soon too. Best Alene, moderator

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